Random Thoughts about Hawaii Five-0's Season 6 Premiere

I dramatically reunited with Heroes Thursday night. Friday night, I dramatically reunited with Hawaii Five-0. I watched the beginning of season five last year, but I fell away from the show. I checked in with the show during the spring and remember nothing of it. McGarrett and Danny bantered? They banter in every episode. I’m reminded of many shows when I put together my fall TV preview. I maintain a slight interest in Hawaii Five-0, even though it does not differ from the rest of CBS procedurals. CBS procedurals, in general, bum me out with the rote formula, the fixedness of the series, the fact that none change. The same things repeat over and over, season to season, to the delight of millions of viewers. CBS boasts it’s the most-watched network. Hawaii Five-0’s the exception to my procedural malaise, but only barely.

Last night’s episode had an A and B story. The A story involved pirates. The B story involved marriage, torture, near death, and the damn Yakuza. Adam, the dramatically least interesting character in the series, still hasn’t freed himself from the Yazuka. Two seasons ago, Kono and Adam were on the run from them. Gabriel, a character I vaguely recall, held Kono and Adam up for bank codes. Kono escaped, confronted Gabriel at the bank (where Adam led Gabriel because he wanted to protect his wife), and Gabriel shot Adam. Adam’s left in a struggle to live in ICU. Kono drops the cliff-hanger bomb about Gabriel taking the money that would’ve bought Adam his freedom from his old, dangerous life. The cliffhanger worked. I want to watch next week to see what happens. Lenkov, that old card, knows effective procedural storytelling. I don’t like any of Adam’s backstory, his character’s as bland as original Greek yogurt, and Kono the character’s been more harmed than benefitted from her involvement with the character.

I lost interest in the case-of-the-week involving pirates, buried treasure, and brutally violent criminals. The beautiful women the producers cast into villainous roles have the violent streak of a mafia member or a cartel member. The gang found the location of the buried treasure. The girl immediately opened fire on an uzi, shooting everything in sight, before McGarrett took her down. Now, for a quibble: McGarrett’s an expert former Navy Seals officer. Every criminal he confronts can evenly fight him. McGarrett wins, but because of the inherent drama needed in hero vs. villain fights, he needs to look like a goon all the time for half the fight. He’s like a WWE babyface that gets his ass beat for seven minutes before he triumphs. The case ended as many of the cases do. The criminals destroyed, murdered, beat others for nothing of material value. They senselessly wasted someone’s life and their own in pursuit of something that wasn’t what they thought. The buried treasure was without worth. McGarrett killed the criminals, leaving the viewer without a righteous McGarrett telling them they wasted their lives for nothing.

The premiere began with the wedding reception for Adam and Kono. Steve and Catherine kissed and danced. Catherine, who stunned fans with her return in the season five finale, doesn’t appear again after Steve leaves her to investigate the pirate-related murder. He told her he wanted to talk. Danny asked him why they didn’t talk, they being Steve and Catherine, and Steve swears they’ll talk but they didn’t have time to talk. The detectives used talk as often as I used ‘plan’ in my Heroes: Reborn review. McGarrett and Catherie do not talk, but they will talk. Producers told media sites the early episodes of season six will resolve the McGarrett/Catherine arc. Catherine decided to stay in Afghanistan to help a little boy remain free of the Taliban in season four. I predict that she’ll leave Steve. Steve’s one true love is Danny, as Danny’s one true love is Steve. Her return must mean more than starting anew her romance with him. She probably returned with news impactful to his family, mother, or sister, or zombie Wo Fat.

#601, though, is all about fake buried treasure, sad Chin, tortured Adam and Kono, and Jerry asking for his own office. It’s similar to every episode prior and every episode after. (Okay, I exaggerated. The Danny flashback episodes and the North Korean episode diverted from the formula). I liked the premiere. I may’ve read two chapters from a book during the pirate story. It lacked a delightful scene at the shrimp place, but half the reason to watch an episode of Hawaii Five-0 is for the Hawaiian scenery.

BONUS CONTENT!

-Fall TV’s one week in. The Player and Heroes: Reborn performed well for NBC. I lost interest in The Player after watching the trailer for my fall TV preview. Yahoo reported ratings were down. Boy were they. NCIS recorded its lowest premiere rating ever. Ah, ratings. More shows premiere next week and throughout October and even into November.