The River "Los Ciegos" Review

The River is a silly, silly show. Don't believe ABC's marketing department when they pull two words from reviews that describe the show as 'genuinely terrifying' and a 'heart stopper.' "Los Ciegos" featured an indigenous tribe who lacked eyes and looked like they'd been inflicted by greyscale. Each character on the Magus goes blind during the hour. There's alot of yelling and hitting of doors, as well as the protection of doors, because the doors keep the Morcegos out. I'm getting ahead of myself, but I thought the entirety of the A story was very silly. The scares were nowhere to be found. One's heart does not stop when one sees a greyscale infected tribesman crawling through the Sorrows, or rather, the Amazon River. "Los Ciegos" isn't a bad episode though. I never expected to be frightened during an episode of The River. I expected an entertaining hour, and I was entertained.

I liked how the pretense of finding Emmett Cole lasted less than one minute. Clark, the mistrustful and shady reality TV producer/director, told the rest of the crew that he had an inkling about the whereabouts of the lost Undiscovered World host. Of course, Clark's a shady reality TV producer who's entirely motivated by the best interests of the project. The dude heard about a crazy indigenous tribe and wanted to head into their territory to see what they'd get, and so he told everyone that Cole could be there. The Magus anchored. The entire crew trekked through the jungle and into a cave, which is when things got weird. AJ, the opinionated cameraman, refused to enter a cave, much to chagrin of Clark. The Magus crew discovered the corpse of a missionary. Meanwhile, AJ felt the presence of something, or someone. The presence was the Morcegos. We never saw what happened between AJ and the Morcegos, but one can assume that his reluctance to enter into the sacred cave preserved his eye sight when everyone else's went to SHIT.

The crew camp out in the jungle. Lena wonders if they're safe. Lincoln states, using a number of examples, that they aren't safe and will never be safe. Lena then flirtatiously cuts Lincoln's hair because of bat shit in his hair. Everyone sleeps. The Morcegos mark each tent during the night with white powder in the shape of an eye. AJ wakes and freaks everyone out by yelling that they need to wake up, and then EVERYONE freaks out because of the eye markings. Emilio, meanwhile, is sitting on a tree branch, in a bad way, because he lost his eye sight. One by one, everyone but AJ loses their eyesight. Through Jehel, we learn much about the native tribe. In sum, the tribe judges trespassers over a period of 24 hours. The judged either leave the jungle with their lives, or the tribe ends their lives. Jehel freaks out when the security guy accidentally kills a wild pig because the Morcegos dislike it when a life is taken for no reason. As a whole, the Magus crew pretty much fail in the eyes of the Morcegos. Mr. Security Guy shoots way too much at the faintest sound of Morcegos in the woods. The tribe spend at least twenty minutes attempting to break into the boat to kill some folk.

The intense action between our characters and the tribes interrupted briefly for important character beats. Tess loses her eyesight and seeks the arms of Clark. Lincoln watches his mom and his dad's producer exchange romantic sentiments. The episode needed internal dramatic tension. The security guy accidentally stabs Clark. Lincoln's the lone doctor on the boat; when Clark needs attention, Lincoln decides to question Clark about the affair; I expected a scene similar to Simon Tam and Jayne, on Firefly, in which Lincoln swore he'd never hurt Clark as long as he was under his medical attention; however, it did not happen; instead, the characters had a honest and open conversation about the issue. Clark told him that Cole left Tess, but advised him not to hate his mother.

AJ's actually the hero of the episode. For 4/5ths of "Los Ciegos," AJ was one pissed off cameraman. Everywhere he turned he felt disrespected. Lena, Security, and AJ trekked through the jungle a medicinal plant to cure everyone's ailing eyesight. Lena and Security lost their vision. AJ declared his intentions to leave the camp, find civilization, and go home. AJ never did. Whether through magic or poor navigation, AJ stumbled upon the tree where the special flower grew. AJ feared caves and he needed to crawl under the tree to retrieve the flower. Thus, his arc came to a proper and redemptive conclusion. He nearly died if not for the intervention of a Morcego. You see, the Morcegos forgave the Magus crew when Clark apologized for disrespecting their sacred lanes. Indeed, two characters were given personal journeys from which they emerged as more trustworthy characters, as well as better men. Their arcs were simple but effective.

The Magus crew made no progress in their search for Emmett. The security guy demanded an extraction because he felt the others would never find Cole or the Source; he anticipates death for all on the Magus, which is a fate he'd like to avoid. Later, he tried to apologize to Clark for stabbing him. Clark, who has seen Security's shadiness on camera, responds, "Fuck off." Well, then.

Overall, I thought "Los Ciegos" told an entertaining story. This mode of storytelling's so simple. There's a bunch of crazy shit, a few character beats, a beat or two for the mythology, and everyone turns the channel a happy person. I know most of the internet hates The River. I don't know what people expected from Oren Peli. Maybe people actually thought an episodic horror story could work. Maybe people wanted Paranormal Activity the TV series. I suppose it doesn't help that ABC insists on pushing the show as a serious horror story when, in fact, it's a silly and campy supernatural adventure story with thrilling moments. I'm along for the ride until ABC pulls the series (bad numbers last week), or until the shortened season concludes in six weeks.

Don't think too much about The River. Just sit back and enjoy.

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