[/caption]Television series usually have bad episodes every season. HEROES, for example, had a stunning 60 episode streak of non-stop awfulness. I dare say that no series will ever match this streak that Heroes built in three years. For every other series that produces one or two bad episodes per season, it's understandable because of the rigors of network television. A writing team and production crew responsible for producing 22 episodes per season are bound to produce a Pittsburgh Pirates-esque effort once or twice in twenty two chances. And, then, series become progressively worse the longer the show is on the air, even my beloved Buffy, The Vampire Slayer produced two awful seasons of television in the show's last two years.
I wrote about awful Halloween episodes last week as the intro to the awful Dawson's Creek episode spotlighted that week. Well, folks, Dawson's Creek has its turn once again under the Halloween re-watch extravaganza spotlight. The episode today has a rather interesting behind the scenes story. It is titled "Four Scary Stories." I know the broad beats of the story, so I'll fill in the details with my own guesses.
Veteran TV shows usually earn a full 22 episode pick-up if the show consistently performs well. Dawson's Creek was exactly this type of show for The WB. For the fifth season, the network ordered 22 episodes. The series hadn't produced a Halloween episode since "The Scare" (and even that episode aired the spring) so the network wanted a Halloween episode presumably. The crack team of Dawson's Creek writers (and, actually, the show always had a talented team of writers but they DID write absolute trash) pitched ideas and broke the story. Soon, a script existed then a completed episode.
One problem though: the episode sucked and the network hated it. The WB pulled the episode from sweeps. Now, I am unaware of how much money it cost to produce this episode of Dawson's Creek. If I was a powerful executive at The WB, I would've eaten the episode. I wouldn't have let this one go to air. Instead, the network pushed the air date back and told the producers to re-tool the episode. The Dawson's Creek team re-tooled the episode. The episode ran on December 12, 2001. You, the reader, might think the episode doesn't qualify for the Halloween re-watch. It does, friends. And I watched the entire episode once again for the purposes of this blog.
"Four Scary Stories" finds Joey, Jack and Pacey returning from a night at the cinema. The three complain about the lack of actual scares in horror movies. Jack suggests Hollywood forgot that the scariest things are usually the ones most possible. So, these three characters are going to tell scary stories that will actually be scary. Over the next 39 minutes, the audience is subjected to the worst scary stories ever written. The stories lack thrills and scares while the resolutions make zero sense. A character remarking that the story scared him or her does not actually make the story scary. Also, the title character of the show does not appear in the episode. Of course, once Kevin Williamson left the show, it became Joey Potter's show. I digress.
Joey, during the teaser, complains about the lack of originality in today's horror films. Naturally, her "scary' story lacks originality. On Halloween night, she goes to the library to read for a class. Apparently, Joey has a class full of classmates who do nothing but study since she tells Audrey Halloween is the lone night she can get the material. Audrey tells Joey that a recent string of attacks on young women happened in the library. Joey, somehow, doesn't know this. I guess this university is the only one without any security updates for the students. Boy this episode sucks.
While studying, an older man with an odd demeanor eats peanuts and reads the paper. A few hours later, the man continues eating peanuts. Joey's freaked. Peanut man politely asks for a pen. Joey says sure. She asks the man behind the desk (not a librarian because the university apparently doesn't employ them) about the older man. Young guy says he's okay then hands her the call numbers for the reading she needs. As she searches for the books, the older man freaks her out. She runs. This continues for 4-5 minutes until we find out the young guy was responsible for the attacks and the older man is actually a cop. It's awful. I could go on about the gaps in logic but why bother?
The second "scary" story belongs to Jack. It's a terrible ghost story. Jack, apparently, time-travels using the frat house bathroom to the 50's where he encounters the ghost of a frat guy who was hazed terribly for being gay--it's actually relevant to what's going on and being reported around the country; however, the story is neither scary nor well-written.
The third "scary" story belongs to Pacey. A few years before this episode, Joshua Jackson had a role in Urban Legend. I imagine the writers thought putting Pacey in an urban legend would be neat. It's the classic high-beams story except the story is terribly done. The car chases Pacey and a tertiary female character. They stop a diner full of characters you'd see in a bad horror movie. Back on the road, Pacey manages to get the car off the road. He and tertiary female character approach the car with a bat but the car is empty. NO ONE WAS DRIVING IT. I hate this episode.
The fourth "scary" story belongs to Jen though Grams tells the tale. Grams warns the tale terrified Jen so much that she cannot bear to re-live the tale.
Now, I wonder if the actors were allowed to read the entire script. How could they not feel embarrassed when asked to sell this one story as terrifying? Pacey even remarks, "that is a scary story." It isn't. Full of nonsense? Yes. Confusing? You betchya.
The gist of Jen's terrifying experience: she worked the late night shift, went outside, locked herself out because she left her keys in the room. Jen thought using a trash can was wiser. She walks down an empty alley. A mannequin falls in front of her. She's spooked. She re-enters, finds her ID card (that fell on the ground) on her desk. A voice whispers "Jennifer" and then the mannequin crashes through the glass as the scene returns to Grams' house where the trio of self-involved characters sit, spooked.
I've watched this particular episode a number of times because I am foolish. The last one remains complete nonsense. This episode wouldn't get a passing grade in a creative writing class. It breaks many rules.
And many people got paid for THIS. And, for your viewing pleasure, HERE IT IS:
SCREENPLAY OF THE DAY
The Faculty--Written By Kevin Williamson
http://www.horrorlair.com/movies/scripts/The-Faculty.pdf
The screenplay for the underrated 1998 The Faculty.
THE YOUTUBE CLIP OF THE WEEK
No comments:
Post a Comment