2014 Fall TV Preview: the Returning Shows on The CW & CBS

Vladimir Nabokov delivered a lecture in Paris during the 1930s. Nabokov received the invite very late. He more or less filled in for an absentee lecturer, if my memory has not completely failed me. Nabokov told an interview he once delivered a lecture to the Hungarian football team and to James Joyce. Nabokov treated his correspondence with Joyce coyly. Nabokov never let interviewers know whom he admired and respected. Richard Ellman described Joyce’s relations with Nabokov as ‘friendly.’ They were friends. Brian Boyd’s wonderful biography leaves the matter to Nabokov, who did not claim Joyce a friend. He claimed that he could not recall his conversation with Joyce during a dinner. Joyce, though, attended Nabokov’s impromptu lecture because he feared his friend would speak before empty seats. If I delivered my 2014 Fall TV preview as an advertised lecture, I know no one would attend. But would any friend of mine attend so that I would not speak to space?

The CW returns with its slew of melodramatic supernatural teen dramas and/or college aged or even slightly more mature dramas than college aged. I dig The CW’s returning lineup.

CBS will eventually air a constant loop of shoe laces and remain America’s most watched network.

THE CW

THE VAMPIRE DIARIES returns Thursday, October 2 at 8PM

Elena takes a witch drug to hallucinate Damon. Damon died last season because he couldn’t make it back from the other side before its elimination. It was convoluted. The Vampire Diaries had a messy fifth season. Bonnie died, too. The college setting hurt the show when the professor morphed into a Victorian villain who experiments on vampires. The season had 3 major villains. Enzo and the twins were fine additions to the show, though. The CW released a 28 second preview of season six. Substance abuser Jeremy will return Son of a gosh darn elm tree. Damon will help Elena move on, but once she does he’ll return, because that’s what Julie Plec writes.

REIGN returns Thursday, October 2 at 9PM

The Black Death will run rampant in season two. I know how the series will end, though I think The CW will alter history so that Mary Queen of Scots rules triumphantly for a millennia. A new princess will come to the kingdom. She’s nasty and likes making other people’s lives miserable.

THE ORIGINALS returns Monday, October 6 at 8PM (NEW NIGHT)

Seven hells. The Original family resurrects in season two. A major plot in The Vampire Diaries was killing The Originals. Does Plec and company need to resurrect every dead character? Haley’s a ravenous hybrid now, pissed at the witches for trying to kill her baby. There’s a new witch in town, who is the mother of The Originals but working within a tiny, petite girl; and Davina works with Mykael (or Mikael), but she’ll also fall for a dreamy male named Caleb. I can’t get past the resurrection of The Original family. If it works in New Orleans, the Mystic Falls crew should easily bring Damon and Bonnie back to life. It’ll happen.

SUPERNATURAL returns Tuesday, October 7 at 9PM

Supernatural will celebrate episode 200 during season ten, titled “Fan Fiction,” and featuring every major character past and present. Jensen Ackles plays evil in season 10. I hope that further deepens his already deeply masculine voice.

ARROW returns Wednesday, October 8 at 8PM

Ra’s Al-Guhl will terrorize Starling City in season three. John Barrowman is a series regular now. One hopes Ms. Willa Holland’s Thea will receive substantive content this season while paired with Malcolm Merlyn. Fans will see the beginning of his correspondence (relationship?) with Amanda Waller in Hong Kong. I’ll guess the writers will do another Suicide Squad episode. Diggle deserves more than two centric episodes this season. There’s one Arrow/Flash crossover confirmed. Arrow’s enjoying a great run. Let’s hope season three tops the awesome and amazing second season.

THE 100 returns Wednesday, October 22 at 9PM

I wrote the other day about mid-season debuts coinciding with my deep plunge into the works of Vladimir Nabokov. I missed The 100. I saw plenty of previews during Arrow and TVD. I saw the pretty blonde goddess type from Australia. For season 2, The 100 did away with The Ark and separated the characters. I understand the cliffhanger left the fates of some characters in the air. So, that’ll resolve in the season premiere.

CBS

THE GOOD WIFE returns Sunday, September 21 at 9PM

Two characters left to start a rival law firm to the main one in the series. Two other characters declared war. I thought the civil war happened last season. Alicia may or may not run for public office.

THE BIG BANG THEORY returns Monday, September 22 at 8PM

The Big Bang Theory actors signed new contracts for the upcoming season and beyond. Sheldon left for a new place via train in the season finale. Oh how I hope the writers draw inspiration from Nabokov’s Pnin (only the train parts). No, nevermind. That’d be disastrous. Sheldon left because of the changes happening around him in his life. Raj not only speaks to women but also has sex with those women. Leonard and Penny became engaged.

NCIS returns Tuesday, September 23 at 8PM

Gary Glasberg wants to concentrate on the team and the family for season 12. Ducky’s origin story happens in episode 3.

PERSON OF INTEREST returns Tuesday, September 23 at 10PM (NEW NIGHT)

A different kind of surveillance system changes things in season 4. It’s called Samaritan. I see what those Person of Interest writers did there. The new surveillance thing forces the team to assume new identities. That has potential.

HAWAII FIVE-0 returns Friday, September 26 at 9PM

Max has a beautiful trainee in season 5. No Michelle Borth, though. The series will gradually bring McGarrett and Danny together in a sexual relationship. Lenkov cut Lauren German once her character and McGarrett’s showed signs of love. Borth’s Christine loved finding missing people in the Middle East more than McGarrett. One thing’s always certain: Wo Fat will appear in the premiere and the finale. McGarrett will search for his mother but never find her.

BLUE BLOODS returns Friday, September 26 at 10PM

Several actors left the series after the season four finale. Several new actors will join the series for season five. I can’t find anything besides casting news Tom Selleck can’t shave the moustache because of CBS.

CSI: CRIME SCENE INVESTIGATION returns Sunday, September 28 at 10PM (NEW NIGHT)

One murder mystery will lead to hot sex for two characters. Watch to learn which two characters will enjoy hot sex!

MOM returns Monday, September 29 at 8:30PM

Critics warmed to the series during season one. CBS shows don’t dramatically change season-to-season. I could track down the hooks for the new season, but whatever. Allison Janey and Anna Faris will trade jokes about drug addiction and unprotected sex or something of that sort.

NCIS: LOS ANGELES returns Monday, September 29 at 10PM

Every preview stresses ‘what happened?’ or ‘what will happen?’ Read any author interview at The Paris Review. Can’t show runners and writers interview about process, how hard it can be to outline yet another season of essentially the same old nonsense? Last season of NCIS: Los Angeles ended on a cliffhanger. Season 6 will resolve the cliffhanger.

CRIMINAL MINDS returns Wednesday, October 1 at 9PM

Season 10. Holy hell. Who else knew Jennifer Love Hewitt joined the cast?

2 BROKE GIRLS returns Monday, October 27 at 8PM

TWO AND A HALF MEN returns Thursday, October 30 at 9PM

No more Two and a Half Men after season 12. Would the series bring back Angus and Charlie?

ELEMENTARY returns Thursday, October 30 at 10PM

The show premieres late because of CBS’ NFL Thursday night deal. There’s not much out about season three two months prior to the premiere. If you can’t wait for October 30, go to the library or Project Gutenberg where you can read Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s Sherlock Holmes stories.