What is the Best Buffy Teaser? The Conclusion

NOTE: The Dawson's Creek Re-Watch continues TOMORROW despite my promise to post a Creek review each and every Tuesday. I stupidly relied on an internet website to watch the first four episodes but, predictably enough, the videos were removed from the website. Oh, well. Now, everyone gets 3,000+ plus words on Buffy!

Yes indeedy, ladies and gentlemen, the search for the Best Buffy Teaser finally returns to The Foot. Over two months have passed since the season six two-parter, and my promises to finish the search that same week. Today, though, the search will come to an end and the Best Buffy Teaser will be awarded. You can read through the other Best Buffy Teaser posts by clicking on the link on the right side of the screen.

The seventh season of Buffy's slightly more well-regarded than its sixth season but only slightly. The season's a mess, for the most part, with its major characters reduced to secondary players in the interest of the Spike-Buffy arc. The 10th episode introduces the potential slayers, who sadly dominate much of the final season. It wouldn't be so bad if the potentials had any personality or definable traits--they're more like a group of tertiary characters that blend into the back round. I had a hard time keeping track of them the first time I watched season 7. In a way, the potential slayers represent everything wrong with the series. Of course, they cannot be blamed for the poor way Xander, Dawn, Willow and Anya are written and used. Only the writers know why they gave more screen time to Tom Lenk's Andrew and the annoying Spike-Buffy romance. Like the potentials themselves, season seven's potential is tremendous. The Big Bad and the scope of the narrative had the potential to make Buffy's final season a terrific one. The writers, actors, directors and the rest of the crew couldn't maintain the momentum though.

Loyal fans will never know why the quality dropped in the final two years of the show. Maybe the writers were creatively bankrupt with Buffy stories. Whedon never lost his creativity, as quality of ANGEL and Firefly were so high during Buffy's final run. Drew Goddard, in an interview with Creative Screenwriting, talked about how empty the writers room was in the beginning of the season because of various staff pregnancies. Some episodes have joint writers, which suggests the scripts were late and rushed; however, the early part of the season's not the issue. Maybe real-life interfered with work life, and maybe Joss and his writers didn't have the time to plan and arc the season as they did in the past. Who knows though.

Anyway, it's time to write about the actual teasers.

LET IT BEGIN:

WHAT IS THE BEST BUFFY TEASER FROM SEASON SEVEN?

"Lessons"--Written By Joss Whedon; Directed By David Solomon

The teaser opens with an Alias-style chase scene in Europe, of all locales. Hooded men chase a young girl through the streets. They eventually catch her and kill her. We cut to the Sunnydale cemetery where Buffy says "It's about power." The line's repeated throughout the early part of the season by various characters. Dawn's receiving her first lesson in slaying. In "Grave," Buffy promised to show her sister these things, and she obviously is. Buffy teaches Dawn that the vampire has the power. Of course, this particular vampire's stuck on a root and can't climb out of his grave. Buffy helps. Dawn and the vamp fight. She misses his heart with the stake. Buffy swoops in and chops the vampire's head off. The sisters then bond over missing the heart the first time.

The chase scene's far less interesting on repeated viewings. As for Buffy and Dawn, their scene plants the seed for the arc to come. The First Evil's catchphrase is--"it's about power." For the majority of the season, the line signifies the depth and the threat of the First Evil. They have the power and Buffy doesn't--that is, until "Chosen," in which Buffy's potentials receive the power. Buffy's slaying lesson with Dawn's pretty much what we'll see once the potentials arrive in Sunnydale. I'd rank the teaser for the season premiere highly if Buffy didn't ignore Dawn for the majority of the season, thus rendering their scene sort of pointless. Once it's clear that Dawn won't be a potential, she becomes as useless as the other characters who used to matter. Also, the teaser ends with the surprise that Sunnydale High's back-in-business. Joss wanted the show to return to its root. The high school as a setting's dropped midway through the season, though, so the show could devote more time to Robin's grudge with Spike. Blah.

"Beneath You"--Written By Douglas Petrie; Directed By Nick Marck

A woman runs through the streets of a European city whilst being chased by a pair of hooded men (the Bringers). The Bringers catch her and stab her. The girl's head turns toward the screen. She says, "from beneath you, it devours." Buffy wakes up from her sleep, startled by a dream. She repeats the words to Dawn, "from beneath you, it devours." Outside, the streets rumble and a giant SOMETHING roams underground, ready to devour.

I like the revelation that Buffy's dreaming about the potentials because I always enjoyed Buffy's prophetic dreams. The girl in Europe's not referring to the giant creature underground in Sunnydale though. The words are yet another cryptic foreshadow to the Big Bad introduced at the end of "Lessons," when it took the form of every past Big Bad. The episode doesn't deal with the Big Bad, though. "Beneath You" is more of a stand-alone episode about Spike's soul and Anya's vengeance demon ways--she's responsible for turning a man into that underground creature. The teaser isn't anything special--it's standard Buffy.

"Same Time, Same Place"--Written By Jane Espenson; Directed By James A. Contner

At the Sunnydale airport, Buffy, Xander and Dawn wait for Willow's arrival. The three are nervous about the return of their former murderous friend. Dawn's spooked when she learns Willow never finished her lessons with Giles on how to be NOT evil. Xander hopes Willow will understand his yellow crayon penned 'welcome' sign. The girls point out how many times Xander told the story. Xander reminds the girls that he saved the world with his mouth. Oddly, Willow's not among the passengers exiting the plane. She doesn't show. We learn that Willow got off the plane but she doesn't see her friends--strange.

Willow's worried about returning to her life in Sunnydale. Buffy, Xander and Dawn are worried about Willow returning to their life as well. They're more concerned about how they can return to normalcy with Willow. Willow's emotions have a great deal of effect on the mysterious invisible stuff in the teaser. She's not seen because she's not ready to be seen, though she doesn't know she's doing it.

"Help"--Written By Rebecca Rand Kirshner; Directed By Rick Rosenthal

Buffy, Xander and Dawn emerges from coffins to possibly slay an elderly woman who died with mysterious neck trauma. Xander wonders if Buffy's always been so thorough in her slaying duties. "Vampire-by-vampire...it's the only way I know" responds Buffy. Buffy wishes the woman/vamp would awake so she can cuddle up with her insomnia and prepare for her first day as school counselor. Dawn and Xander assure her that she'll be fine but she worries that the kids' problems will be weird and tricky. Xander comments that she's not exactly new with weird and tricky problems. The elderly woman wakes up. Buffy dusts her.

What I like about the "Help" teaser is the dialogue. It reminds of me the first three seasons when life-and-death slaying stuff felt secondary to ordinary problems of a teenager--when Buffy worried more about a meeting with Snyder than a fight with three dangerous vampires. Buffy's more concerned about her new job as counselor than slaying. The dialogue's sharp, quick-witted and fun. The characters feel like the characters they've always been, which is why the teaser's so enjoyable. "Help" is an early candidate to win the best teaser from season seven.

"Selfless"--Written By Drew Goddard; Directed By David Solomon

Dawn's giving a pep talk to Willow before her return to college. Buffy and Xander converse about Anya--he's worried about her, their last conversation went terribly. Xander wants to call her. He thinks she's coming around after turning that guy into a giant worm; however, Anya's just butchered a frat house full of frat guys--their hearts have been ripped out.

Anya-as-a-vengeance demon has been the elephant in the room. For awhile, she opted to rant about Xander rather than exact vengeance on behalf of a scorned woman; however, she's a more active demon thus far in season seven. Xander's not concerned about the worm incident because it's small compared to killing men. Of course, Anya's responsible for a massacre. How will she come back from that? It's a short and effective teaser that sets up Willow going to college, which will lead her to Anya and the frat house. Buffy and Xander's conversation reminds the audience of Xander's love and concern for the girl, even though they broke up. Great teaser for a terrific episode.

"Him"--Written By Drew Z. Greenberg; Directed By Michael Gershman

Spike moves in with Xander so Xander's giving a tour. He wonders why Spike needs to live with him, and Buffy reminds Xander that keeping Spike in the school basement where he's driven insane daily is cruel. Spike doesn't want to be coddled. There's an undercurrent of romantic feeling between Buffy and Spike, which Dawn picks up on in the next scene. She and Buffy sit outside, eating lunch, watching the football team. Buffy explains that she feels for Spike but such a feeling isn't love. Dawn doesn't understand why people waste so much time chasing after those they love, brooding about those they love when time could spent curing diseases or painting beautiful murals. Naturally, Dawn falls in love at first sight with the star of the football team.

The teaser's another throw-back to teasers of old. Usually, when a character says something, the complete opposite will happen as is the case with Dawn and love. It's about infatuation rather than love, I guess. It's a funny, silly and light episode. The teaser just sets up the ridiculousness of love, and the insane things people do in pursuit of it. Nothing much comes from Spike and Xander's living arrangement.

"Conversations With Dead People"--Written By Jane Espenson and Drew Goddard; Directed By Nick Marck

A band plays in The Bronze. Buffy scours the cemetery, awaiting the undead to rise from their graves. Willow settles in the library for a quiet night of studying. Spike sits alone at the bar in The Bronze, nursing a drink, looking mournful and lonely. Dawn finds a note from Buffy, informing her that she and Willow won't be home until late. One undead being rises from his grave, as Buffy watches impassively, remarking, "here we go."

In the script, when the band begins to play, it reads, "It's full of loneliness. Pain. You know, season six stuff." Anywho, the teaser puts the characters in the spots they'll be for the entire episode. "Conversations With Dead People" is a unique episode. Each character only interacts with one other character. No Xander nor Anya. Spike doesn't have one line of dialogue. I like the teaser because it's different, and it feels special like Joss Whedon and his writer's are about to deliver a masterpiece.

"Sleeper"--Written By David Fury and Jane Espenson; Directed By Alan Levi

Xander's awoken by furious pounding on his door. Buffy emerges inside, wondering where Spike is. Xander doesn't know. Spike wasn't home when Xander arrived home. Buffy's worried because Holden told her Spike sired him. And she should be worried because Spike's in the process of burying the body he just murdered.

And it begins--the slow dovetail of season seven with "Sleeper." The next four episodes are basically about keeping Spike safe from The First. Buffy, of course, fears that Spike's a killer because of her bizarre evening being psychoanalyzed by her enemy, and because of those dreams she's had marked by the cryptic "from beneath you, it devours." Spike, meanwhile, whistles cheerfully as he buries the body. The question is, what's up with Spike? The urgency of the first scene promises an episode that seeks to find answers to Spike's bizarre behavior post-soul. And also, why is he whistling?

"Never Leave Me"--Written By Drew Goddard; Directed By David Solomon

Xander's repairing the damages to the Summers house following the fight at the end of "Sleeper." Dawn and Anya discuss Spike. Neither girl trusts him. Meanwhile, Andrew's roaming the streets of Sunnydale with The First in the form of Warren. The First wants Andrew to kill more people for mysterious reasons. Andrew balks. Elsewhere, Buffy tied Spike to a chair. In fact, Spike wants tighter ropes.

I told you--it's all about Spike. The teaser's constructed around Spike and the influence of The First. No one trusts him except for Buffy. There isn't an inciting incident in the teaser to drive the episode, though. It's three scenes with dialogue. I've seen the episode multiple times and I can't remember what the story of the episode is. It's good though, which is weird.

"Bring On The Night"--Written By Marti Noxon and Douglas Petrie; Directed By David Grossman

Once again, Xander makes repairs in the Summers home. The Scoobies are researching The First without success. Dawn wants to question Andrew about The First but he's unconscious from the Spike attack. Buffy dreams about her mother. Joyce tells her she needs to rest or she'll be no good to anyone. Meanwhile, Spike's being tortured by an ubervamp as the First haunts him in the form of Drusilla.

Again, nothing much happens. The First used Spike's blood for what they needed. Now, they're playing games with him. The new threat is the risen ubervamp. The Scoobies have no idea that such a vampire exists, let alone residing in their town. Once they discover the ubervamp, they will figure out how to stop it but that doesn't happen until "Showtime."

"Showtime"--Written By David Fury; Directed By Michael Grossman

At a bus station, a young woman exits a bus. The station's dark, deserted and creepy. Suddenly, she's attacked by two bringers. They corner her. Buffy arrives, throws the bringers aside and pummels them. She defeats them and then introduces herself to Rona, the new potential slayer. They make small talk about what to do when Rona's attacked again. Rona thought she was safe in Sunnydale. Buffy explains that she is but she'll be attacked again. "Welcome to the Hellmouth."

This teaser breaks the monotony of the past three teasers, in which very little happens. I enjoyed the humor in the scene after the bringers are defeated. I liked Sarah Michelle Gellar's delivery of her lines. Rona's not the first potential slayer to arrive, though, so it's not like her arrival's the beginning of the potentials arc. It's not a very good teaser in terms of structure and story. There is no hook.

"Potential"--Written By Rebecca Rand Kirshner; Directed By James A. Contner

Spike and Buffy are teaching the potential slayers how to fight a vampire. The potentials are inexperienced so Buffy talks about instincts and anticipation. She and Spike demonstrate. Buffy hurts his shoulder. She's concerned that she hurt him. All the while, she's on top of him as the potentials remark that the chemistry between the slayer and the vamp's hot. That's about it.

"Potential" is about Dawn figuring out whether or not she's a potential slayer. The teaser doesn't concern itself with setting up the A story. Instead, the writers force more Buffy and Spike in the audience's face as the potentials look on. Did the writers need a scene with lessons, considering the amount of speeches and lessons in previous episodes and episodes to come? It would've been better if the episode began with Dawn because she's the heart of the story but the writers were Spuffy crazy for whatever reason. Blah.

"The Killer In Me"--Written By Drew Z. Greenberg; Directed By David Solomon

Giles prepares to leave for a retreat with the potential slayers. He and Buffy converse. Giles references "Intervention" which is good. Willow enters the scene. Kennedy won't attend the retreat because she's ill. Giles leaves as do the other characters. Buffy goes into the basement where she and Spike discuss life for two days without potentials. Buffy brings up the chip seconds before it goes haywire in Spike's head.

There's some nice set-up for the respective stories in this teaser. Willow and Kennedy will spend time with one another because she's home, and Kennedy's shown obvious interest in Willow. Thus, Willow will experience some Tara guilt if she shows any sort of feeling for Kennedy. Giles left with potentials in time for the gang to wonder if he's the first. Buffy and Spike will deal with the chip. It's a solid teaser.

"First Date"--Written By Jane Espenson; Directed By David Grossman

Giles returns from the retreat with the potentials. Spike tackles him, thinking he's The First. Giles wonders why the chip didn't trigger a response in Spike. Giles is NOT the First and Spike's chip-less. Giles freaks out.

I appreciate the simplicity in the reveals--Giles isn't dead and Spike's chip is removed. I like Giles' fury over news that Spike roams free without the chip. The chip removal happens just in time for the audience to learn about Robin's personal history with Spike. The Giles stuff doesn't matter, really.

"Get It Done"--Written & Directed By Douglas Petrie

Buffy walks around the house, surveying the sleeping slayers. Chloe cries in the corner. Well, at least Buffy thinks her name's Chloe. Suddenly, the primitive tackles her and yells, "it's not enough." Buffy wakes up--'twas only a dream. The potentials sleep peacefully. Buffy tries to figure out what just happened.

Simplicity worked for season 7. The teaser's effective because of its simplicity. The exchange with Chloe shows that Buffy doesn't really know the potentials. The primitive stuff shows that Buffy needs to go deeper to beat the First and to empower the potentials.

"Storyteller"--Written By Jane Espenson; Directed By Marita Grabiak

Andrew sits in a Masterpiece Theatre setting, addressing the audience about the adventures of Buffy, the Vampire Slayer. He narrates a story about Buffy fighting vampires in the cemetery before he's rudely interrupted by Anya, who wonders why he doesn't just masturbate like the rest of the household when in the bathroom.

The teaser establishes the storytelling world Andrew chooses to experience, as well as his own perspective. "Storyteller" is his episode and the narration over Buffy's fight guarantees an episode that won't be typical BtVS. That's about it.

"Lies My Parents Told Me"--Written By David Fury and Drew Goddard; Directed By David Fury

Flashback. 1977. Spike and Nikki Wood fight in Central Park as little Robin hides behind a bench. Spike leaves because he wants to dance more with Nikki. Nikki walks over to her son. She's proud of him for remaining where mom wanted him to remain. Little Robin picks up a stake before the scene ends. Cut to the next scene where Buffy, Spike and Robin fight vampires. The trio wins. Spike makes a remark about Robin's use of the stake. Robin quietly murmurs that he's waiting for his moment.

I'm not sure how invested the audience was in Robin's vendetta against Spike because I watched season 7 on DVD several years later. I can't imagine the audience sympathized with him because people love Spike. The first scene wants the audience to care about Robin and his mission to avenge his mother's death because the next 40 minutes will be about his mission. Does it work? Eh but nothing really works in the seventh season.

"Dirty Girls"--Written By Drew Goddard; Directed By Michael Gershman

A young woman, Shannon, runs from the bringers. A priest in a pick-up truck, Caleb, picks her up. The two converse about what she was running from. Caleb quickly reveals himself as a bad guy. He calls Shannon a whore and a dirty girls, wants her to deliver a message to the car behind him. He stabs her and throws her out of the car. Willow and Faith stop to help the girl. Faith observes that, indeed, she's back in Sunnydale.

Eventually, the writers needed to introduce a threatening, corporeal villain because The First can't actually do anything because they're incorporeal. Caleb's the bad guy. Joss Whedon actually wrote the scene--something Goddard freely admits in the commentary. Caleb's a typical religious zealot with a taste for murderous blood. He's not a particularly compelling or threatening villain because his threats and regard for women aren't anything new or original. I appreciate the thematic contrast between the misogynistic villain and the band of girls on the cusp of slayerdom. BtVS was always a show about taking back the night for women, and it's good Buffy returned to those roots with five episodes remaining in the series.

"Empty Places"--Written By Drew Z. Greenberg; Directed By James A. Contner

The entire of town's frantically fleeing for some reason. I understand a big battle's happening but those happen yearly and the town never fled. What's different besides the temptation to make the battle seem more epic with the series ending? Oh, that's the point. Buffy converses with Clem. The hellmouth's been crazy. People feel it. Demonic activity's everywhere. The conversations ends, the teaser ends. I won't bother beginning a second paragraph.

"Touched"--Written By Rebecca Rand Kirshner; Directed By David Solomon

Bad, bad teaser. The Scoobies, potentials and everyone else not part of a group argue about the next step since they kicked Buffy out of her own home. Faith suggests everyone chill out. They do until the lights go out. The entire neighborhood's power went out, which means the Sunnydale electric company fled town. Meanwhile, Buffy kicks a middle-aged man out of her home and quips about tab.

Everything's a mess--both in the fictional world and in the actual world of the writers room because season seven devolves into nonsense. The potentials want Faith as their leader even though she's a terrible leader. Buffy will spend the episode apart from her friends until Spike delivers a monologue that 16 year old me thought would charm girls. The group at the Summers home will remain as directionless throughout the episode and various characters will sleep with one another.

"End of Days"--Written By Jane Espenson and Douglas Petrie; Directed By Marita Grabiak

The bomb goes off. Buffy finds the scythe and removes it from the rock. Caleb is surprised.

"Chosen"--Written & Directed By Joss Whedon

Buffy and Angel are in mid-kiss--odd behavior from someone who just gave his son a new life without any memories of his father, and someone who's in love with Cordelia. Buffy basks in Angel's presence. The two talk. The First has gotten more ambitious since it tried to get Angel to kill himself. Now, it's raising an army. Caleb, with dark eyes and blood dripping from his eyes like tears, asks Buffy if she's ready to finish their fight.

Well, here I am, writing about the last teaser in the series. It's unremarkable.

AND THE WINNER OF THE BEST BUFFY TEASER FROM SEASON SEVEN IS..."Selfless." It's the last teaser that comes from character rather than the nonsense First plot. It's from a time when my favorite characters still hung out with one another. Maybe I dislike season six and seven equally.

AND THE WINNER OF THE BEST BUFFY TEASER OF THE SERIES IS..."Prophecy Girl."

Here's why (from season 1 post): The teaser is outstanding. It sets up The Master's ascension but it also re-states its mission statement. While Cordelia and a boy kiss in her car, Buffy fights a vampire close by without anyone noticing. She stakes the vampire and remarks, "three in one night. Giles would be so proud." She's just a sixteen year old girl who has superpowers, and she's taking back the night from the evil vampires and demons. Earlier, Xander practices what he'll say to Buffy to Willow because the season-long infatuation he's had with Buffy will be resolved along with a whole host of other arcs built throughout season one.

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