What is the Best Buffy Teaser from Season One?

Teasers are, perhaps, close to extinction in the world of network television. In recent years, in the interest of making more money, networks have changed the structure of their shows in the interest of shorter acts and more commercials. The six act structure used to be as mythical as Big Foot or the Loch Ness Monsters. Writers knew the six act structure existed for television but no one thought they'd ever see the six act structure or have to write it. In the late 90s, television episodes clocked in at 45 minutes. In 2011, hour-long dramas have decreased by 3-4 minutes. Also, in the late 90s, the majority of shows used the four act structure with a teaser whereas shows in 2011 use either the five act structure or the six act structure. The shift in structure might not seem drastic to most people but it is. Trust me.

Honestly, I miss teasers (or cold opens). Teasers remain a part of certain shows but even those shows barely separate the teaser from the first act. The purpose of the teaser is to convince the viewer to not switch the channel. The hook of the show is in the teaser as well as the episode's inciting incident. The show runner as well as the writers and the network wanted the viewer to be there once the episode returned from commercial. The teaser bleeds into the first act now. Instead of a quick 3-4 minutes that puts the episode's best foot forward, more pressure mounts on the shoulders of the writers because the first ten minutes have to be good enough to convince the viewer to stick around.

Teasers were fun. In the interest of celebrating teasers, I had an idea that will span an unknown period of time in search for the best teaser of a television series. I'm going to watch every teaser from a specific series and, eventually, name the best teaser from said television series. There will be only two rounds. For each season, a best teaser will named and then those teasers will compete for the overall best teaser award. It's a fairly simple process.

Buffy, The Vampire Slayer will be the first series that I write about. Theoretically, the search for The Best Buffy Teaser should take seven days because the series spanned seven seasons; however, I might split the 22 episode seasons into two parts in the interest of time. Also, ideally, I'd prefer readers to join in on the discussion for the Best Buffy teaser because that's funner but I'm not holding my breath.

LET IT BEGIN:

WHAT IS THE BEST BUFFY TEASER FROM SEASON 1?

"Welcome To The Hellmouth"--Written By Joss Whedon

The teaser for the pilot seems like a slam dunk no-doubt-about-it win for season one because the teaser establishes the world of the show so well. Joss Whedon wanted to reverse the old trope about the pretty girl who finds herself danger in a dark alley and he successfully reverses the trope in the first three minutes.

Two teenagers wander around Sunnydale High after hours. It follows the traditional beats of a horror scene. The girl hesitates about being inside the school while the cocky dude has no fear and SEEMS like potential danger for the girl. The girl hears an ominous noise. The boy assures her that no one's inside the school but the two of them. The girl turns around in vamp-face and proceeds to murder the boy.

The teaser doesn't introduce the heroine but it does show danger can come from a petite, pretty girl (and anywhere even). And, most importantly, as Jane Espenson pointed out on her blog, women will have power in this world.

"The Witch"--Written By Dana Reston

The second episode of Buffy, "The Harvest," is a continuation of the pilot episode so I moved on to "The Witch."

The early episodes, and the first season really, focus on Buffy's desire for normalcy. Also, Joss Whedon wanted to take ordinary high school experiences and transform them into actual horror. "The Witch" tells the story of a mother who is envious of her daughter, and she actually switches bodies with her daughter in her quest to experience her youth again.

The teaser drops some hints when Amy, the daughter, tells Willow and Buffy about how much time she spends practicing with her mother. The teaser also offers a good ol' inciting incident. Whereas the pilot offered a statement about the show's identity, "The Witch" isn't the pilot and it's concern is with establishing the story.

It opens with Buffy dressed in her outfit as Giles tries to forbid her from trying out because of her sacred birthright but Buffy craves normalcy and safety. But nothing is ever normal and safe in Sunnydale. At practice, a girl's hands light on fire and Buffy saves her. The teaser establishes that Buffy won't ever have a normal, safe life. Also, we know that a witch exists in Sunnydale who certainly has something to do with the fire. But how and why? And those questions are answered in the rest of the episode.

"Teacher's Pet"--Written By David Greenwalt

The fourth episode of Buffy won't win any awards with its preying mantis plot but the teaser's quite enjoyable. Since Buffy arrived in Sunnydale, Xander's had a crush on the girl but the romantic feelings aren't mutual.

The teaser begins with Xander's dream of rescuing Buffy from a vampire. He not only rescues her with the promise of a kiss but he'll also impress her with a great guitar solo. Unfortunately, he wakes up after Buffy tells him he's drooling--in biology class. The dream scene reminds the viewers of Xander's infatuation with Buffy as well as how far he is romantically from her once he awakens, which opens the door for the Xander-Miss French story. Meanwhile, the biology teacher offers Buffy a rare shoulder of support after class. She's sort of considered a wild card because she accidentally burned her LA school down fighting vampires but her teacher believes in her and tells her to not listen to any negative opinions from any one in the school. Of course, after she leaves, a preying mantis kills the biology teacher. But the exchange gives Buffy a personal stake in the preying mantis story and, most importantly, the audience will care because Buffy cares.

"Never Kill A Boy On The First Date"--Written By Rob Des Hotel & Dean Batali

An old TV writing lesson is to reiterate your show's premiere for the first six episodes. Buffy's the slayer, but she wants to be normal. "Never Kill A Boy On The First Date" repeats that. Buffy trains with Giles in the graveyard, but he's too critical. Buffy needs a break, but she can't have one due to the Master's plan to raise The Anointed One. Giles is like an overbearing parent who isn't satisfied with his daughter's good grades; so, what does the daughter want to do? Rebel. Escape her duties for one night. But Buffy will never find the normal she wants.

"The Pack"--Written By Matt Kiene and Joe Reinkmeyer

Buffy, Willow and Xander are at the zoo, on a field trip. A pack of four teenagers bully Buffy, and a tertiary character. Soon, the pack, and the tertiary character, enter the hyena cave. Xander tries to play hero but, once inside, he and the rest of the teenagers get possessed by hyenas (it's a weird story). Outside, a zookeeper warns Buffy and Willow about how hyenas learn human speech and prey on the weakest of them at night. I told you it was weird. He emphasizes that a pack preys by separating a person from his (Xander) group; but, instead, Xander joins the pack of jerk teenagers.

The episode's essentially about how rotten a group of teenagers can be. Xander gets drawn into the pack because of the hyenas but it's like any teenager who drops his old friends for the cooler, and meaner, friends.

It's a rare instance of Joss Whedon beating the viewer on the head with what the metaphor is.

"Angel"--Written By David Greenwalt

The teaser for "Angel" is great. It opens with a short scene between The Master and Darla. Darla insists on being the one to kill the slayer because she has a personal interest in the matter. The Master sends Three vampires to kill the slayer because he doesn't want Darla to get hurt in pursuit of revenge. Meanwhile, Buffy is in The Bronze and lost in thought because she's thinking about Angel but he's a mystery to her. Despite the mystery, she likes him a lot. She leaves The Bronze, thinking she's a buzz-kill and is soon jumped by The Three.

It's an intriguing teaser especially because of Darla. What is her personal interest in the matter, and who EXACTLY is Angel besides a stranger who only pops in when Buffy's facing danger? A fantastic episode unfolds after the teaser by the way.

"I Robot, You Jane"--Written By Ashley Gable & Thomas A. Swyden

"I Robot, You Jane" is a bad episode, and the teaser's really bad, but I'd still watch it over a select few episodes from season six and season seven.

Two minutes are spent introducing a demon named Moloch whose soul is confined in a book. In Sunnydale, Willow scans the book. That sends Moloch's soul into a computer. Willow loves Xander, but Xander loves Buffy. Her loneliness makes her vulnerable for Moloch's later charms. In between, Giles and Ms. Calendar have a spirited argument about the emergence of technology (which is the only good part of the teaser) that sets up the amusing technophobia theme. How things have changed since 1997.

The teaser serves as an effective reminder of Willow's longing for Xander, Moloch's charms (I guess?), and the amusing theme of technology's dangers.

"The Puppet Show"--Written By Dean Batali & Rob Des Hotel

The teaser introduces Principal Snyder and sets up Snyder's distrust of Buffy, her friends, and Giles--that distrust would continue until Snyder's last episode in season three.

Snyder forces Giles to oversee the Sunnydale talent show because he thinks Giles should have more contact with the students, and after over-hearing Buffy, Willow and Xander mocking the talent show, he forces the three to participate. The trio sits down to watch a teenage boy audition with his puppet. The boy is a terrible ventriloquist until the puppet begins carrying the act. You see, the puppet comes to life. The boy goes with it because of the receptive cheers and even Buffy's charmed by the act.

Of course the teaser becomes more ominous when a poor girl gets attacked by a mysterious presence in the shadows who declares, "I will be flesh!" It might be the worst line in the entire series, as well as the worst delivery in the entire series. Unfortunately, "I will be flesh!" eliminates "The Puppet Show" from Best Teaser of not only the series but of season one.

"Nightmares"--Teleplay by David Greenwalt

Fittingly, the episode begins with a nightmare--Buffy's nightmare. She dreams that The Master caught her and will murder her. She wakes up to find her mother gently waking her for school, with news that Buffy will be able to spend time with her father. Her father becomes an important figure later in another nightmare of Buffy's. At school, Buffy talks to Willow about her parents' divorce. We learn how Buffy feels responsible for the separation and divorce. In class, a student opens a book and spiders pour out as a little boy stands by the doorway/

Once again, a teaser establishes the emotional arc for Buffy in the episode. "Nightmares" is creepier than the other teasers because of its nightmarish quality. And the teaser promises a weighty emotional episode for the Buffster, which is good.

"Out of Mind, Out of Sight"--Teleplay By Ashley Gable & Thomas A. Swyden

Whedon used this episode as an example for the kind of storytelling he wanted to do on the show. In this episode, an ignored girl actually becomes invisible. Naturally, the teaser showcases Cordelia's popular, visible life because the antagonist of the episode is Cordelia's opposite. Cordy's boyfriend is attacked in the locker room by Marcie, the invisible girl, after he tells his friends that he wants to have sex with Cordelia.

The teaser's well-done. Cordelia and Marcie are the central focus of the episode, and the teaser establishes how sweet life is for Queen C, how invisible Marcie is, and the danger of that.

"Prophecy Girl"--Written By Joss Whedon

During the Seven Business Days of Whedon, "Prophecy Girl" was the only season one episode to make any of the lists because season one, despite exceptions, isn't Buffy's greatest. But "Prophecy Girl" is an example of why Buffy continues to be written about.

The teaser is outstanding. It sets up The Master's ascension, the chief threat to Buffy's life and to Sunnydale, and it re-states its mission statement. While Cordelia and a boy kiss in her car, which is what normal teenagers do, Buffy fights a vampire close by without anyone noticing. It's that visual reminder of what Buffy wants but can't have. Instead, after staking a vampire, she remarks, "three in one night. Giles would be so proud." She's just a sixteen year old girl, but she's superpowerful and amazing, and she's taking back the night from the evil vampires and demons, yet she only wants to fit and blend in with her peers. Isn't it so common for teenagers to miss what makes them special and amazing?

Also, Xander practices what he'll say to Buffy to Willow because the season-long infatuation he's had with Buffy will be resolved along with a whole host of other arcs built throughout season one.

AND THE BEST BUFFY SEASON ONE TEASER GOES TO..."Prophecy Girl" for all of the reasons above. It's an all-timer.

Tomorrow, I will tackle season two. Please feel free to comment with your opinion on the best teaser of season one.