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Monday, November 12, 2012

How I Met Your Mother "Splitsville" Review

Robin and Barney will marry in the season finale, so it's fair to wonder when they became a couple again. Carter Bays and Craig Thomas mastered trolling the audience over three years ago. I'm thinking of last season's Robin story about her children specifically. Bays and Thomas seem like they write what fans want on a white board, develop an idea around satisfying fan desire, and then concocting a way to piss the fans off in an alienating way. "Splitsville" isn't a trolling episode. The only rancor the audience might feel is the tease of the Barney-Robin kiss in the final scene. Strangely, though, HIMYM will satisfy fan desire, presumably, by successfully marrying two characters fans love together despite the fact its forced and clear pandering.

Robin needs a full episode to end a poorly written and developed relationship with Nick. HIMYM originally wanted Nick in season seven, but the actor was not available. Kal Penn stepped in as the decently written Kevin, but Robin ended it with him when Ted decided he loved her again. Nick's barely a character, more of a regurgitation of a character seen too many times on TV throughout the years. Sit down, friends and well-wishers, for what I'm about to write: Nick is dumb. Oh, it's true. Robin was drawn to Nick's body. The sex was great. Robin was content with copulating and sleeping soundly afterwards. A basketball injury to his groin temporarily put the brakes on their terrific sex life. Robin's wound and in need of 'some.' The couple talked a lot since they couldn't fornicate. Robin learned her boyfriend was dumb. He misunderstood the four letter word for cut for his actual name; he believed gypsies were made-up, like elves and leprechauns.

Robin won't dump him because of the sex. The threat of a fun day with Patrice motivates her, but not enough. Robin took Nick to Splitsville, an ice cream place in the city famous for the hearts broken in between scoops. Nick receives a devastating phone call that makes Robin hesitate. Nick won't disclose what the phone call was about; his hysterics suggest he suffered a catastrophic personal loss. The hysterics are misleading. Indeed, Nick's upset because he tore a muscle and will not be able to play any more games for Marshall's recreational basketball team.

Robin continues to hesitate. Barney marches over to Splitsville to declare love for his ex-girlfriend. Barney's speech of love is equal parts any character in Dawson's Creek asking another character out, Holden's monologue to Alyssa in Chasing Amy, and to a lesser degree any male lead in an average romantic comedy. Barney's speech includes the words "hopelessly" and "irretrievably." Honestly, the writing is riddled with clichés. Holden's monologue in Chasing Amy is the only exception of great writing in an otherwise poor crop of comparisons. Neil Patrick Harris executes the emotion of the speech excellently. The writing may be poor, but Barney feels every words.

Afterwards, Barney praises his acting ability. Robin looks at Barney differently, with eyes that betray a new
feeling for her old beau, a feeling of love. Barney spoke truths in his speech, detailing how impossible he thought it was to love until he met Robin, and how overwhelming the feeling's been for years. Robin wants to kiss him; Barney wants to kiss her. Patrice's phone call interrupts the moment. It's typical HIMYM. The Barney and Robin coupling is happening again because of fan desire. The relationship was horrible in season five, and the creators clearly trolled the audience in their break-up episode. Whatever. It's happening again.

The recreational basketball subplot was enjoyable. I played recreational hockey for a decent amount of time, and I'm familiar with the nonsensical competitive spirit of teammates. Jason Segal's grief over Nick's torn groin was the best acting in season eight. I wanted to watch more of the basketball drama and less of the Robin/Barney nonsense. How did Marshall's team perform post-Nick? Did the accountants receive their comeuppance? It doesn't matter. None of HIMYM's stories matter anymore.

THE YOUTUBE CLIP OF THE WEEK


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Originally, I titled the blog Jacob's Foot after the giant foot that Jacob inhabited in LOST. That ended. It became TV With The Foot in 2010. I wrote about a lot of TV.