What is the Best Buffy Teaser? Part 6B

NOTE: I can't finish the Best Buffy Teaser this week. Hopefully, I'll have all of season seven written by Monday. I promise a full week of posts though. Tomorrow and Friday will be reviews for Community and Man Vs. Wild. Also, every season six cast photo so today's post is sans photograph. Try to deal, my massive readership.

"Dead Things"--Written By Steven S. DeKnight; Directed By James A. Contner

The sounds of rough sex are heard as the camera moves through Spike's crypt. The camera finds Buffy and Spike post-coital. The two engage in a nice conversation until Spike goes all Dawson on Buffy and seeks to confirm that they're having a nice conversation. Immediately, Buffy retreats into "You Disgust Me" mode. Well, really, Spike kills the mood when he compares Buffy to an animal. Spike fancies Buffy as anything other than human, and that rightfully disgusts her. She leaves after Spike dangles handcuffs in front of her, asking if she trusts him. She says never. Meanwhile, the Trio's arc becomes darker. Warren, Jonathan and Andrew get a mystical device that makes any girl their willing sex slave. Warren knows exactly who he'll use it on.

The Spuffy romance, at this juncture, is being shoved down the throats of the audience. Many loved it. A small minority exists that dislikes Spuffy. I'm among them. Anywho, the purpose of their scene is to show how dependent Buffy's becoming on Spike. The sexual relationship's getting darker. Spike wants it to become darker but he also wants a genuine relationship with the girl. It's just a weird relationship. Buffy's just so...un-Buffy throughout much of the season. Tara tells her that she's normal, that nothing's wrong so the story can't really make sense of her behavior. I digress. The point, their scene deepens the weirdness. The Trio's scene plants the seed for the eventual darkness they'll fall into. "Dead Things" makes them a significantly more serious group of villains. Warren's creepy plans toward women are, well, creepy. I feel like I'm rambling.

"Older and Far Away"--Written By Drew Z. Greenberg; Directed By Michael E. Gershman

As Buffy packs weapons into a bag, she apologizes to Dawn for bailing on a sisters-only night with one another. Buffy's been bailing a lot lately and the guilt's building up in her mind. Dawn assures her sister that she's understands, that it's cool; however, it is not as Dawn's facial expressions convey. During their exchange, one wonders whether Buffy's making an excuse to see Spike because of the vague way she explains the demon that Spike told her about. But she does fight a large demon who decides to camp out in the sword he used upon being stabbed. Hijinks will soon ensue.

Dawn's been abandoned lately by her supporting cast. She's feeling lonely. The teaser reminds one of how isolated she's been in her own house, which is important for what Dawn does in the first act. The sword demon sets up the monster-of-the-week story. It's sort of throw-back. The A personal arc is established along with the demon of the week.

"As You Were"--Written & Directed By Douglas Petrie

Todd, the manager of the Doublemeat Palace, lectures Buffy about the political game that exists in moving up in the ranks of the Doublemeat Palace. Buffy listens as she scraps grease. Soon, Todd leaves. Buffy laments how she'll work at this place for a long time. Later, in the graveyard, she fights a vampire; however, the vampire doesn't want to bite her because she smells like Doublemeat Palace. Buffy stakes the vamp. She then smells herself and, again, laments.

Buffy's in a rut. The Doublemeat Palace is basically rock-bottom for her. The fact that vamps don't want to bite her because she eats that fast food is even worse. She needs a pick-me-up--someone to remind how awesome she is. Todd and the vampire did not help her. The teaser sets things up nicely for Riley's return to Sunnydale. Buffy needs someone like him.

"Hell's Bells"--Written By Rebecca Rand Kirschner; Directed By David Solomon

Buffy and Willow stare in horror at their own reflections because of how ugly their bridesmaid dresses are (actually, Willow is Xander's Best Man). The girls discuss how stressed Xander and Anya are. They compare the rehearsal dinner to a zoo. Xander's in the midst of dealing with his family. The Harris' dislike Anya's demon. His parent's terrible marriage is directly in his face in the teaser. Xander hopes nothing can stop the wedding. Cut to an old man emerging from a portal to, presumably, stop the wedding.

I hate this episode. There's nothing good about it, including the teaser. I didn't care to see Xander's family. I enjoyed them more off-screen in stories Xander told. Buffy and Willow basically lay out what to expect during their expositional dialogue. Blah.

"Normal Again"--Written By Diego Guiterrez; Directed By Rick Rosenthal

Buffy walks around the outside of The Trio's Lair. In the basement, Jonathan's sick with guilt about murdering Warren's ex-girlfriend. Warren just wants to get rid of Buffy. Andrew summons a demon. Buffy and the demon fight. The demon stabs Buffy. Buffy screams as doctors, nurses and aids tend to her. Huh?

"Normal Again" is one of the most debated episodes in the series. Discussion of the entire episode's for another time though. Joss, of course, offered the best explanation for the episode so maybe you should just read that. Anywho, this teaser has one hell of a hook (the sudden shift in reality). The lack of good hooks during season six is astounding. Maybe the writers were coasting like an NBA team during the regular season, just hoping the loyal fans would stick around no matter how bad the episodes were. Aside from the hook, Buffy's closer to finding the residence of the Trio. Warren's more and more dangerous.

"Entropy"--Written By Drew Z. Greenberg; Directed By James A. Contner

Warren, Jonathan and Andrew chase two vampires on ATVs. The Trio's armed with stakes and other weaponry. They want the disk that the vamps possess. The ATVs crash. Hope is lost until Buffy begins fighting the vampires in the distance. Warren quietly walks towards the fight, picks up the disk and leaves. Buffy continues fighting. Spike shows up, lifts the second vampire up and dangles him as he tries to discuss their relationship. Buffy doesn't have any interest in Spike's threats. She knows that her friends will love her regardless. Meanwhile, Xander sits alone in his apartment with a beer then he takes a walk. Anya emerges from the bushes, looking hurt.

Spike's used his relationship with Buffy in many twisted, hurtful ways. Now, Buffy feels secure with her friends that she doesn't worry about the truth. Spike wants to know why she won't sleep with him again if she doesn't care about her friends' opinion. Simply, she doesn't love him. Of course, around 40 minutes of story is left to tell. Buffy will have to deal with the fallout from her friends (well Xander) as well as Spike sleeping with Anya in one fell swoop. The teaser plants the seeds for those major plot points in the episode. The fall out from "Hell's Bell" is addressed in the episode as well. Anya was MIA during #617. Neither character's handling the failed marriage well.

"Seeing Red"--Written By Steven S. DeKnight; Directed By Michael Gershman

Willow and Tara are in bed, naked and happy following their reunion. The conversation shifts to Buffy, who hadn't returned home after The Magic Box fun in "Entropy." Willow's concerned as well as curious. She wonders why she reacted so hurt to Spike being with Anya. Tara tells Willow the truth about Buffy and Spike. Willow's sort of speechless but she's concerned. She wants to find Buffy because she thinks her best friend needs someone to talk to; however, Buffy's not in her room. Willow and Dawn talk about Buffy in the hall. Willow tries to explain how people get when they have such strong feelings for another person. Dawn becomes super excited when she sees that Willow and Tara are back together. Meanwhile, Buffy found the Trio's lair. Unfortunately, she's too late and they bailed. Warren left multiple large blades that would kill Buffy though. When Buffy escapes the house, she sees that her jacket's been cut. That's gonna cost Warren.

The teaser's entirely about Willow and her season-long detachment from people. Her commitment and love for Tara's on display at the beginning as well. It's one of Joss' cruelest trailers actually given what happens in the final scene. Willow might think she's recovered but the Willow we see is that detached, distant Willow. Her line to Dawn about how people get when they have strong feelings for one another is strong foreshadow. Willow means that people get crazy. Meanwhile, Buffy's actively pursuing the trio. Things will get worse.

"Villains"--Written By Marti Noxon; Directed By David Solomon

An ambulance arrives at the Summers house because Warren shot Buffy. The medics tend to Buffy. Xander's worried and jumpy. The medics tell him to calm down. Meanwhile, Willow furiously uses magicks in an attempt to restore Tara's life (a stray bullet went through Tara's chest and Buffy fandom would never be the same again). Osiris refuses to bring Tara back for Willow because they cannot mess with the natural deaths. Willow wonders how a shooting can be considered natural. Osiris bails after Willow's force actually kills him. Uh-oh.

"Villains" is an insane episode. The teaser deals with the immediate aftermath of "Seeing Red." Buffy's in poor shape and Tara's dead. Most importantly, Dark Willow's born. She is wild.

"Two To Go"--Written By Douglas Petrie; Directed By Bill L. Norton

Buffy, Xander and Anya are in pursuit of Willow, who just ripped the skin off of Warren, killing him. Xander's sickened, unable to comprehend that his Willow killed someone (though he believes Warren deserved his fate--a killer just getting started), unable to get the stench of death out of his nostrils. Anya teleports to the prison to, hopefully, get Jonathan and Andrew out of his prison before Willow kills them both. Buffy races ahead of Xander as well. Xander remains, disappointed and frustrated that he can't help his best friend.

Buffy and Anya are more business-like than Xander. Xander's having trouble coping with the recent string of events. It's important to show Xander this way as it sets up his powerful scene with Willow in "Grave." Xander, as always, thinks with his heart. Buffy's in slayer mode. Xander's simply trying to understand everything.

"Grave"--Written By David Fury; Directed By James A. Contner

Giles returned with power to subdue Dark Willow for a short period of time. He tries to talk some sense into her, tries to help her. Willow only remembers their conversation in "Flooded" about her abilities as a witch. She's turned pro, and she's eager to inflict pain on Giles.

Giles' return in "Two To Go" is so badass. Unfortunately, that happened in "Two To Go." Willow's on a destructive path that might very well result in her death. Giles wants to save her from such a fate. Buffy does as well. Willow wants to kill though.

AND THE WINNER OF THE BEST BUFFY TEASER FROM SEASON SIX IS..."Flooded." Damn right "Flooded" won. Nothing represents the season quite like "Flooded." It's all leaky pipes and wasted potential.

And here's a list in descending order (remember, no teaser for "Once More, With Feeling"): 21. "Doublemeat Palace" 20. "Wrecked" 19. "Smashed" 18. "Hell's Bells" 17. "Dead Things" 16. "Gone" 15. "As You Were" 14. "Bargaining Part 1" 13. "Life Serial" 12. "Tabula Rasa" 11. "Older and Far Away" 10. "All The Way" 9. "Entropy" 8. "Bargaining Part 2" 7. "Grave" 6. "Afterlife" 5. "Two To Go" 4. "Normal Again" 3. "Villains" 2. "Seeing Red" 1. "Flooded"

THE YOUTUBE CLIP OF THE WEEK