2014 Fall TV Preview: the Returning Shows on Cable & Premium Channels

ADULT SWIM

TIM AND ERIC’S BEDTIME STORIES returns Friday, September 19 at 12:15AM

Adult Swim aired a special last year, which went over well, I guess. I recently figured out who the Tim in Tim and Eric is. I still don’t know who Eric is. Tim and Duncan Trussell have a contentious yet friendly dialogue whenever Tim joins Duncan for the Family Hour (or during the old Lavender Hour days). VICE posted an interview with the guys two days ago. Read that if you dig Tim and Eric.

SQUIDBILLIES returns Monday, September 22 at 12:15AM

AMC

THE WALKING DEAD returns Sunday, October 12 at 9PM

Season 5 will not take place entirely from within a freight cart. The gang will hit the road in search for the cure to end the disease. Eventually the two groups will collide. I didn’t think AMC’s Comic Con preview would’ve bothered with Beth, but she’s shown in final minute, doing vague things while a voice uses vague phrases. I think The Walking Dead is an adequate show, but not great. Scott Gimple seems to run the show with more direction and focus than his predecessors. The narrower focus on the scattered characters produced some good, affecting stories.  “The Grove” moved me quite a bit last year. 

COMEDY CENTRAL

ADAM DEVINE’S PARTY HOUSE returns Friday, September 9 at 12:30AM

BRICKLEBERRY returns Tuesday, September 16 at 10:30PM

SOUTH PARK returns September 24 at 10PM

Trey and Matt won’t know what they’re doing for the new season until mid-September. South Park embarks on season eighteen.

KEY & PEELE returns September 24 at 10:30PM

The guys debuted two new sketches at Comic-Con that’ll air during the 11 episode fourth season. They’re currently writing, or did write, or will write, a feature to be directed by Judd Apatow. A kitten is involved in the story.

GABRIEL INGLESIAS PRESENTS STAND UP REVOLUTION returns Friday, October 3 at 11:59PM

FX

SONS OF ANARCHY returns Tuesday, September 9 at 10PM

Kurt Sutter’s tale of biker gang members that once loosely paralleled William Shakespeare’s Hamlet will conclude this year. Perhaps it continues to loosely parallel Hamlet. Parallel may be a poor word to use. Mirror? No. Inspired by? I guess. Jax will avenge Tara’s death during the final season.

AMERICAN HORROR STORY: FREAK SHOW returns Wednesday, October 8 at 10PM

Douglas Petrie and Tim Minear write for AHS. Petrie wrote for Buffy, The Vampire Slayer from season three through the final season (season seven), and he also wrote Angel’s third episode, “In the Dark.” Tim Minear wrote and directed for ANGEL from season one until season four. He wrote and directed episodes of Firefly and Dollhouse, too. I don’t particularly like Ryan Murphy’s creative style. I noticed several cast members will return for Freak Show. The last spooky carnival story I watched was Heroes’ last season. It usually doesn’t work out. I know that’s a vague and poorly constructed sentence. What doesn’t usually work out? Freak show storylines, my friends and my well-wishers. The freak show employees will do anything to keep business running while combatting evil forces.

FXX

THE LEAGUE returns September 3 at 10PM

The promos for The League mock post-game press conferences, overbearing head coaches, arrogant star athletes, and grand misuse of ESPN.

ALI G: REZURECTION returns September 3 at 10:30PM

People loved Ali G years ago. No one seems to watch FXX, though. I don’t think people will watch original programming because of The Simpsons marathon.

HALLMARK

THE GOOD WITCH returns Saturday, October 25 at 9PM

The Good Witch has a following in certain circles. The 10 episode season will coincide with the premiere of a seventh Good Witch film—in time for Halloween.

HBO

BOARDWALK EMPIRE returns Sunday, September 7 at 10PM

Terence Winter told Ben Blacker he felt the time was now to end the series because nothing much happens after the events depicted during this final season of Boardwalk Empire.

IFC

COMEDY BANG! BANG! returns Friday, October 17 at 11PM

THE BIRTHDAY BOYS returns Friday, October 17 at 11:30PM

MTV

AWKWARD returns Tuesday, September 23 at 10PM

Awkward continues its fourth season. Yes, the fourth season continues. The mid-season finale, which is a horrible thing that has stuck (no one arrives at chapter 20 of Nabokov’s Glory and puts it down for five months because he or she reached the mid-novel finale), revealed that Eva is pregnant. I don’t know what that means. Pregnancy storylines are the least engaging and interesting for a writer or writers to hatch. It reveals nothing about character, only that the writers gave up.

FAKING IT returns Tuesday, September 23 at 10:30PM

MTV is a miserable channel that develops creatively bankrupt series—series that are dead-on-arrival. Karmy and Jawny might couple during the new season or they may not. Karmy rejected Jawny last season. Oh, the character’s name is Karma. Karmy’s the shipper name. My respectable and well-reputable blog will take a hit for that mistake. Jawny reacted to Karma’s rejection by hooking up with her boyfriend, but they’re still BFFs. What in the heck? Young teenagers and pre-teens of the world, if someone’s shitty to you, that someone is not your friend. MTV television will put forth the idea that your horrible ‘best friend’ that hurts you more than he or she ever cheers you up is a friend. The comments section for a Faking It MTV article revolves around goddamn Karmy and the love lives of these characters.

PBS

MISS MARPLE returns Tuesday, September 21 at 9PM

A BBC import, Miss Marple is an adaptation of Agatha Christie. Three episodes will air. Each episode adapts a different Agatha Christie story. Monty Python spoofed Agatha Christie’s basic murder mystery plot magnificently in a Flying Circus sketch many, many years ago.

FINDING YOUR ROOTS returns Tuesday, September 23 at 8PM

INSPECTOR LEWIS returns Sunday, October 5 at 9PM

CALL THE MIDWIFE returns Sunday, December 28 at 7:30PM

SHOWTIME

HOMELAND returns Sunday, October 5 at 9PM

Alex Gansa promised a radically different series in season four. Damien Lewis left the series. His character did not quite make it out alive last season. Gansa told Entertainment Weekly that Carrie will finally do her job this season. Critics once loved Homeland, but then stopped.

WEB THERAPY returns Monday, October 22 at 11PM

Matthew Perry will take a break from attending Los Angeles Kings games to guest star on Web Therapy this season, along with a few other notable names that includes Jon Hamm, Calista Flockhart, Billy Crystal, and Dax Shepherd.

SYFY

HAVEN returns Thursday, September 11 at 10PM

SyFy ordered 26 episodes for season five. The first thirteen will air this fall, according to Eric Balfour’s Twitter account. Audrey, Duke, and Nathan banished Troublemaker Williams from Haven last season. Troublemaker Williams is a terrific name. There’s more craziness to come in season five. The town’s rendered silent by a mysterious force. Nathan wants to save Audrey from—I assume Troublemaker Williams. Each Haven villain should be a different Troublemaker, every episode and every season.