The River "Row, Row, Row Your Boat" Review

Clark imagined he'd put together an action-packed eight episode series of the footage he shot during the 38 days the Magus searched for Emmet Cole, found him and returned home. I sincerely hope no one actually expected the Magus crew to return home safely in the series finale; I sincerely hope no one feels The Killing-like vitriol for the River writers because it's just not worth it. One thing in the season finale surprised me, which was the surprise death of Lincoln. Of course, the show quickly erased the surprise by bringing him back to life and ushering in The Boiuna itself. Last week's previews promised a 'terrifying' finale. Nothing terrifying happened. The River ended as it began: incredibly silly and ridiculously campy.

I'm pretty sure that I viewed the show completely different than the writers or the ABC marketing department during these eight episodes. Where both aimed for a genuine horror series, I only saw the silliness of the villains and of the Boiuna. "Row, Row, Row Your Boat" is probably the final chapter of The River. The ratings were never good. Last week's episode drew just above 4 million viewers. NBC would accept those numbers. The CW would accept those numbers. The ABC maintains dignity though. A little more than 4 million viewers isn't enough to justify a renewal on ABC. Fans of the series will need to content themselves with these eight episodes. In a brief scan of the interweb just now, a few fans expressed positive feelings about the final because they were surprised and creeped out by the events of the episode. There were feelings of disappointment because the series didn't hit the creepy factor until the last episode, and the season concluded on a cliffhanger.

I theorized several weeks ago about the creative process of transforming the premise of The River into an 8 episode series. Oren Peli envisioned his premise as a film, which would tell this -story in just 90-100 minutes. Spielberg, though, saw a series and urged Peli to adapt the idea for television. The middle portion of the season wasted too much time. The Magus crew was thrown into the jungle with pissed off tribesmen and kidnapped by ghosts. The search for Emmet Cole stalled during each of these silly stories of nonsense in the Amazon. The "Pilot" and the final three episodes of the season seem were the most important episodes. They seemed like a slightly expanded version of what Peli would've brought to the silver screen had Spielberg not intervened. "Row, Row, Row Your Boat" seemed like it told the story Peli originally wanted to tell.

Jahel warned everyone against entering into the Boiuna to find Emmet Cole in the "Pilot." The Boiuna is an evil stretch of land where people don't leave. Emmet Cole, after months in a cocoon, is transformed. He's no longer the inspired man who believes The Source is his destiny. The trials and tribulations of his final journey, the deaths he caused, the mistakes he made, have completely changed his character. Emmet wants to leave, he wants the tapes destroyed, and he doesn't want to talk about the Boiuna anymore. The Boiuna, though, is a pissed off spirit: it is the Black Snake, Sheperd of river Souls, the God of Demons (according to Jahel). Jonas shot Lincoln in the neck but intended to hit Emmet because of the whole 'hang-man' incident. The death was shocking and ballsy until Jahel communicated with a spirit to bring back his 'hurt' soul. Within 8 minutes, Lincoln is back; however, a spirit possessed him--the Boiuna. It was natural for the Boiuna itself to possess Lincoln and challenge Emmet. Emmet's been using The Boiuna without apology for months, hell, years, and the Black Snake is angry.

The Boiuna used the memories of Lincoln against Emmet. The father-son troubles have been a dominant theme throughout The River. I'd refer to my comparison between them and the Infinite Jest father-son dysfunction but I won't beat a dead horse. Emmet doesn't trust the resurrected Lincoln after an exchange of 'I love you' because Lincoln hadn't said those words in years. The father-son dynamic is at the heart of the struggle for Lincoln's soul. It's simply good storytelling to make the dynamic the crux of the conflict and, also, the resolution of the crux. The Boiuna tries to tear the Magus crew apart with its knowledge of everybody. Kurt is imprisoned in the brig after the Magus learns of his possible intentions; Clark can't look Emmet in the eye after the Boiuna tells Emmet that 'his body wasn't even cold before [Clark] fucked [Tess]; Emilio orders Jahel to live in Montana with her aunt, tells her the truth of her mother, and admits his fear of his own daughter. The Boiuna is truly a destructive spirit, as destructive as its jungles and water and ability to close channels and create an infinite circle for the Magus to sail. Emmet breaks through the spirit by apologizing to Lincoln for being a bad father and by communicating his feelings of love for his son. The Boiuna exits but not without screaming 'WE'RE AT WAR!' The next day, Tess prepares the Magus for its exit from the Boiuna. Unfortunately, everything closes around the Magus. The crew is trapped.

I anticipated the season ending with the crew unable to leave the Boiuna. It makes the most sense for the show. I've argued about the show needlessly introducing this 'find Emmet Cole' plot. The same beats could've been written if Emmet rode was around for the entire ride. The River is best suited for the situation in season 2, in which they're literally unable to escape from the Boiuna, and forced to fight off the ghosts, grayscale tribes, and other various tribes. Indeed, the show is going to embrace its Twilight Zone side if season 2 happens. I doubt the second season happens. Overall, I don't regret the total time I spent watching and writing about this crazy, silly and ridiculous series. I don't fault the show for trying something different. Each episode never lacked energy. The post-production work is among the best I've seen in television. The pacing was exceptional--no scenes ever bored me; I'm often bored out of my mind watching parts of The Secret Circle and Once Upon a Time, but The River made everything feel urgent and immediate even when the subject matter was nonsensical silliness. The writers committed to everything we saw on screen with reckless abandon. The commitment helped every scene.

This is probably the end of The River. I doubt I ever write another word about the series. I had a fun time though. If ABC renews the series for an 8 episode second season, I'll write about it. If not, I'd like to salute Michael Green, the rest of the writers, the directors, and the entire crew. The series entertained me each week. Sometimes, I just want to be entertained.

Aron Eli Coleite & Michael Green wrote the episode. Gary Felder directed it.

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