2012 MIDSEASON PREVIEW: ABC & The CW
The internet's essentially shut down this week, which makes sense because it is the holiday season. I'm not shutting down the blog this week. Instead, I'm delivering a 2012 Midseason Preview. New programming returns en masse next week. Over the next four months (beginning with January of course), the random new series will debut with decent, or barely any, fanfare. Some of the shows I'll preview today, and the following two days, don't have premiere dates. Google search is your friend in times like these. I won't include any returning fall shows in the previews because that makes no sense.
From a distance, ABC and The CW seemingly have very little in common; however, both networks share a massive disinterest in attracting a male audience. Once ABC lost Monday Night Football, they essentially threw their hands in the air and ordered every crappy nighttime soap possible. The CW's never hidden its plan to attract pre-teen and teenage girls. The midseason schedule for both networks is definitely for the ladies. ABC's premiering another show about emasculated men in an increasing female-dominated America. The only new series on The CW's midseason schedule is Remodeled, a reality series that I will ignore in this post.
I'm combining new and returning shows this week because I've little interest in dragging this preview out. Yes, there are returning shows this midseason like Cougar Town and One Tree Hill. So relax and enjoy.
ABC
WORK IT!
Created By Andrew Reich & Ted Cohen
Premiere Date: Tuesday, January 3 at 8:30PM
Premise: (From ABC Press Release, May 2011) This high-concept comedy centers on two unrepentant guy's guys who, unable to find work, dress as women to get jobs as pharmaceutical reps. Not only do they pull it off, but they might just learn to be better men in the process.
Thoughts: Work It! should be atrocious from the first frame on until its inevitable cancellation a week later (or at May Upfronts). There is no way the show lasts beyond May. Does America really want to see two men dressed in drag for 13 episodes? ABC executives fell in love with the 'It's the 21st century and men are emasculated and without roles' pitch. The main characters refer to their current hardships as a 'mancession' just in case the viewer wasn't aware that these men have been emasculated by a shrinking job market and boom in influential and powerful women. The male actors don't look feminine at all in drag nor do they attempt to speak in a pepperpot tone. What's worse is the intelligent female co-workers don't notice their two new female co-workers are built like construction workers. The men join the ladies on a girls-night-out. The premise promises a lesson in how to be a better man, which I'm sure, will be communicated each week at the end of the episode. This series will suck so much. Just thinking of the possible storylines and Lessons Learned makes me cringe.
Chance of Weekly Review: 0%
THE RIVER
Created By Michael Green
Premiere Date: Tuesday, February 7 at 9PM
Premise: (From ABC Press Release, May 2011) "The River" follows the story of wildlife expert and TV personality Emmet Cole. Emmet set course around the world with his wife, Tess, and son, Lincoln, while filming what would become one of the most popular shows in television. After he goes missing deep in the Amazon, his family, friends and crew set out on a mysterious and deadly journey to find him.
Thoughts: I heard Michael Green, the series creator, talk briefly about the show on a Nerdist Writers Panel podcast, and his comments interested me. I also read positive early reviews of the pilot. The trailer is essentially the above premise visualized. The search-and-rescue for Emmet Cole becomes an insane task as mysterious things attack the boat. The river is home to some kind of magic, which makes sense, because the word 'magic' is repeated several times. The magic, of course, is brutal and unfriendly. ABC hasn't had any success with thrillers post-LOST, or DURING LOST. The River seems like a show that'd interest me enough to write about on a weekly basis.
Chance of Weekly Review: 82%
MISSING
Created By Greg Poirier
Premiere Date: Thursday, March 15 at 8PM
Premise: (From ABC Press Release, May 2011) Becca Winstone (Ashley Judd) learns that her son, Michael, disappears while studying abroad and it's a race against time when she travels to Europe to track him down. A surprising turn of events reveals just how far one mother will go to protect her family.
Thoughts: Missing is what happens when the plot of Taken meets an ABC nighttime soap writer. Greg Poirier changed the hero to a heroine. The missing child is male, not female. The woman's son isn't lost in Eastern Europe; he's MISSING in Italy. Becca Winstone, our protagonist, used to be in the CIA but she turned on that life to devote herself to motherhood, and now she'll confront the enemies of her past. Ashley Judd, in the preview, said that God could not help those who stood in the way of her mission to locate, and rescue, her missing son. While I love Taken, Missing doesn't appeal to me because it's a watered down, ABC-ized version of the Liam Neeson classic.
Chance of Weekly Review: 0%
DON'T TRUST THE BITCH IN APT. 23
Premiere Date: TBD
Premise: (From ABC Press Release, May 2011) After a naive Midwestern girl's big city dreams are dashed her first week in New York, she finds herself living with her worst nightmare in this hilarious, contemporary comedy about a female odd couple who are surrounded by an outrageous cast of characters.
Thoughts: I'm not optimistic for this show's longevity. The title's changed two or three times. Van Der Beek's playing himself. ABC didn't set a premiere date. It's already been relegated to a mid-season launch. Van Der Beek's playing himself. The girl from Starz' Gravity is the lead of Apt. 23, which means the show's already doomed.
Chance of Weekly Review: 0%
GCB
Premiere Date: Sunday, March 4 at 10PM
Premise: (From ABC Press Release, May 2011) Amanda Vaughn (Leslie Bibb), once the ultimate high school "mean girl," is forced to return home in disgrace after her marriage ends in scandal. Amanda is nothing like the girl she was 20 years ago, but as her old classmates reacquaint themselves with the new Amanda, will her home town welcome her with open arms or seek revenge? No one in this town is a saint, but that doesn't mean they can't have a heart. As Amanda and her teenage kids try to adjust to their new lives, the ladies from her past alternate between sympathy and scheming.
Thoughts: Every series, no matter its quality, has one fan. There's a sizable audience for GCB, namely the target demographic of ABC. GCB follows Desperate Housewives on Sunday nights in March. Desperate Housewives is in its final season; ABC wants GCB to replace it. The series has the ingredients to succeed like DH did. Amanda's a disgraced divorcee who used to be a mean, mean girl in high school. The town possesses a long memory, so they might just seek revenge. GCB's sort of like a reverse Revenge--the leading lady is the villain and the entire town might turn against her. I have no interest in GCB.
Chance of Weekly Review: 0%
SCANDAL
Premiere Date: TBD
Premise: (From ABC Press Release, May 2011) (from ABC's press release, May 2011) From the creator and executive producers of "Grey's Anatomy" and "Private Practice" comes a drama revolving around the life and work of a professional crisis manager and her dysfunctional staff.
Thoughts: Scandal doesn't have a premiere date. The premise seems no different from Grey's Anatomy or Private Practice. Aren't both medical dramas about dysfunctional staffs and the drama that stems from such dysfunction? ABC told Shonda to make a new show earlier in the year, so she created a medical drama SET in a tropical paradise. The only thing that changed was the setting. Doesn't Shonda get bored telling variations of the same drama?
Chance of Weekly Review: 0%
COUGAR TOWN
Created By Bill Lawrence
What Season? 3
Premiere Date: TBD
Thoughts: ABC initially left Cougar Town off its mid-season schedule, much to chagrin of fans and critics. I gave the series a chance after hearing so much praise for it. I didn't like it. The series reminded me of Scrubs. Though I liked Scrubs, the cartoony and zany style of Cougar Town annoyed me. I never watched another episode.
Chance of Weekly Review: 0%
THE CW
ONE TREE HILL
What Season? The ninth and FINAL season
Premiere Date: Wednesday, January 11 at 8PM
Thoughts: One Tree Hill is ending so soon? Oh wait, it's been on for nine seasons. Truthfully, I don't know which actors left the show and which didn't. Is Mark Schwann still running the show? According to The CW press release, Nathan's an agent and Haley struggles raising two children alone as a result. There are too many romantic entanglements. One such entanglement involves a wedding; another involves a simple yet infuriating and tiresome question 'will these two be romantic?'
Chance of Weekly Review: 0%
THE YOUTUBE CLIP OF THE WEEK
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