How I Met Your Mother "The Slutty Pumpkin Returns" Review

Ted Mosby dreamed about the slutty pumpkin for a decade. The woman made such an impact on him that he'd spend several Halloweens awaiting her return at the roof party. The memory of the lost kit-kat bar, with her number on it, haunted her. Ted the romantic had grand dreams for himself and the slutty pumpkin. Once upon a time, he imagined their story would end in marriage, and be a magnificent tale for their children. Years and years passed until one day he learned the woman's address, knocked on her door, and a relationship began.

I suppose the story of Ted and the slutty pumpkin, Naomi, is a lesson in the adventures of expectations. Each soul on this earth has waited for something in expectation whether it's seeing a significant other, waiting for the latest Twilight movie or Harry Potter movie, or waiting for the next delicious plate of jerk chicken that'll never come unless one returns to Negril. The passage of time allows for the imagination to work in wild ways.

Ten years ago, I was a freshman in high school. I looked like a stick and had terrible hair. The weekend before Halloween loomed. I attended a Catholic school, so that meant a longer weekend because of a Holy Day of obligation. Somehow, I found myself in detention on a Thursday or Friday. Detention at my high school was a tremendous pain in the ass. I lived quite a distance away from the school, which meant I needed to wait for the late bus to return. The late bus returned shortly before 6PM to accommodate the athletes and wayward youths who had detention. I forget how I spent the 2+ hours before the late bus. Detention lasted less than an hour, so it sucked a whole lot getting trapped within the halls of my high school. One needed to find something to do or else the time moved as slowly. My friends were detention-free so they went home.

I spent the bulk of the time aimlessly wandering the halls. Sometimes I ran into someone, and sometimes I didn't. Somehow, though, I ended up on the front steps of the school, hanging around with a guy I went to school with as well as someone else. A girl I had a major freshman crush on happened to be hanging around with a friend in the same general vicinity. The front steps were quite long, so we were separated by a sizable distance. I was a clueless freshman with little idea about how to introduce myself to her. The girl was intimidating with her pretty features and Russian accent. Suddenly, she and her friend were ascending the stairs towards my small group. They were in pursuit of cigarettes as well as something to mask the smell of the smoke because the parents were bound for the school. I probably said something stupid. The girls departed. I felt like a king, though, because of the brief interaction with the girl. We might've been in the same group in a class earlier that day or the day before. I don't remember. I just remember I had her name and eye contact. So, I went home and experienced the longest damn weekend of my 14 year old existence. I just wanted to return to my high school halls so that I could talk to her more. I re-lived the events in my head and even gave it a soundtrack. Of course, I don't remember what happened when I returned to school. The point is--I built this image in my head over a weekend that I still remember vividly. Inevitably, the return to school didn't turn out the way I imagined it because my expectations were the size of bloody Eastern Europe.

So, Ted and the slutty pumpkin aren't bound for happiness. The slutty pumpkin isn't the mother of Ted's children. She's just a girl who caught Ted's eye ten years ago, and who didn't live up to his expectations. I'd be remiss if I ignored Naomi’s side of the story because Ted didn't live up to the expectations she had in her head. The lesson seems to be that love's an entirely different animal than a four day or ten year period of expectation about a girl you have the wrong idea about. Not that there's anything wrong the girl, of course; it's impossible to dream about someone you don't know. All of the romantic ideas are wonderful and fun until reality barges into fantasy. Craig Thomas and Carter Bays could've easily told a story about Ted meeting the slutty pumpkin again and learning that she hadn't thought about him at all in the ten years since they met. I've met a girl or two who've had a tremendous effect on me but I didn't have the same effect on them. I liked how the series explored this area of Ted's romantic side. Time is a gift. Time grants perspective. Now I know that me and the Russian girl wouldn't have worked, and I know this about other girls who I used to feel a great deal for. Ted and Naomi experienced that "What if?" scenario, but it didn't lead to the life they thought it would. And I like that.

Elsewhere, Lily nearly moved into the suburbs with Marshall, and Barney learned he's a 1/4 Canadian because his grandmother was born in Manitoba. I don't like when the spotlight's on Lily. For whatever reason, the character irks me. Alyson Hanigan provided me with so much joy on Buffy but she's irritating on HIMYM. The idea that Marshall and Lily would move into the suburbs wasn't ridiculous. Both earn a good living and couples often move to the safety of the suburbs. The Eriksons are city slickers, though, and they'll never leave.

I enjoyed the scenes between Barney and Robin as Barney tried to resist his Canadian heritage. I always enjoy when the series amps up Robin's Canadian background. Robin dished out many Canadian-isms tonight. I won't bother wondering about the whereabouts of their significant others because I realize TV shows have a budget, and actors have contracts. I knew the slutty pumpkin wasn't meant to be because Katie Holmes is too expensive to cast on a regular basis. I always welcome Katie Holmes onto a TV show because she once was Josephine Potter on America's beloved series, Dawson's Creek.

THE YOUTUBE CLIP OF THE WEEK