What is the Best Buffy Teaser? Part 6A

NOTE: Not that anyone cares but The Chicago Code review won't post until tomorrow afternoon.

In other news, this is the last week for the Best Buffy Teaser search. Indeed, a winner will be crowned on Friday. Today, it's all about the first twelve episodes of season six. While I planned to write about each season in one complete post, the realities of life interfered. No one likes reading 4500+ words in one fell swoop either so maybe it's a blessing. The plan is to post 6B on Wednesday then 7A and 7B on Thursday & Friday respectively. Anywho...

Season Six of Buffy, The Vampire Slayer--it is a season that continues to divide fans as it did during its original airing. Personally, I loathe the season. It's my least favorite season in the Whedonverse. The fun from the previous five seasons completely disappeared. Joss Whedon and Marti Noxon decided that the fanbase needed stories about the perils of entering adulthood, about the grim reality of post-adolescent existence. Buffy wages battle only occasionally during season six. The larger fight involves bills, plumbing, other utilities, working in a job one hates, etc. In theory, such battles have potential in a long-form narrative such as BtVS. After all, those things will always be part of an adult's life. Whedon portrayed high school extremely well throughout the first three seasons of the show but portrayals of adult life weren't nearly as well done as the high school years (Joss' other show at the time, ANGEL, had been dealing with similar themes of adulthood much more successfully).

Season 6 is just a depressing 900+ minutes of television. The passionate season six defenders will tell you that the depression of the season was exactly the point. Hell, even Joss maintains that perspective. The issues aren't solely about the loss of fun and rise in depression/misery in the individual episodes. Large chunks of the season feel lazy and uninspired such as Willow's addiction arc, the Buffy/Spike (damn right it's an ordinary and clichéd romance) and Dawn's rebellion. It's strange because the writers room remained largely the same except for the addition of Drew Z. Greenberg and he had zero power to influence a drastic change in the stories. For years, Marti Noxon received the majority of blame for the decrease in quality, though Joss maintained that he remained as involved in Buffy as he's always been (even with ANGEL and Firefly to run). Maybe the writers had simply run out of gas after five furious seasons. Season 5 is the natural conclusion of Buffy's story, in my opinion. The season ended on such a high note. Maybe the writers experienced something similar to a Super Bowl hangover. No writer would readily admit exhaustion and fatigue but I'm hesitant to blame a group of the most talented writers in television suddenly becoming less than great for two seasons. And maybe Joss was too stretched but ANGEL was tremendous in its final three seasons and Firefly's a contemporary television classic that continues to inspire weekly reviews from critics such as Alan Sepinwall and Jeff Jensen.

Season 6 has tremendous issues. The fan community will always fight about it. Blame will be thrown around. I know I won't end the debate so allow me to transition into the season six teasers.

LET IT BEGIN!

WHAT IS THE BEST BUFFY TEASER FROM SEASON SIX?

"Bargaining"--Written By Marti Noxon; Directed By David Grossman

Spike, Tara, Xander, Anya, Giles and Willow are in the graveyard, fighting a band of vampires. Willow's on top of a crypt, overseeing the action and communicating with the other Scoobies through her mind. The Buffy-bot joins in the fight. The vampires are defeated. Buffy-bot malfunctions. The gang are reminded that the only real Buffy is Buffy.

The Scooby gang miss the Slayer; however, the gang isn't using the bot because of how much they miss her. They need to keep the demons and vampires in check. If they find out the Slayer's dead then Sunnydale becomes much worse. Amazingly, the gang struggled more against vampires with Willow's psychic help than they did when it was Xander, Giles and Willow fighting the vamps, alone, during season five. There isn't much to talk about within the teaser though. We see that Willow's powers continue to evolve, that Spike continues to fight with the gang even though he's evil. Besides that, it's a matter of "when will the real Buffy be back?"

"Bargaining Part 2"--Written By David Fury; Directed By David Grossman

The Buffy-bot is surrounded by the biker gang and she's close to a system failure. Meanwhile, Xander picks Willow up from the ground. Willow's out of sorts because of the resurrection spell and, oh yeah, a snake came out of her mouth. The Scoobies are also running because the demon biker gang took control of the town once they discovered that Buffy was a robot. Six feet below the ground, Buffy wakes in a coffin, tries to scream but only emits a dry gasp. She's buried alive.

This is the second part of a two parter so it picks up immediately from the end of part one but it sets up the episodes as a singular story with Buffy's awakening at the end of the teaser. Willow felt the effects of communicating with some serious dark magicks, which is a theme of the season.

"Afterlife"--Written By Jane Espenson; Directed By David Solomon

Xander, Anya, Willow and Tara walk through the streets of Sunnydale, aware that Buffy is alive, that the spell worked. They're trying to find her as quickly as possible. They talk about how different Buffy seemed but Willow is convinced that Buffy just came from a hell dimension. Anya thinks Buffy's broken though. The gang's worried that their Buffy is more dangerous. Meanwhile, Dawn brings Buffy home but Buffy only looks lost and empty.

"Afterlife" is one of the better season six episodes because it deals immediately with Buffy's state post-resurrection. The central question is raised by the group--is she broken? Furthermore, was she ripped from a hell dimension? It's a character-driven episode that proudly establishes itself as such an episode in the teaser. While the gang frets about Buffy's state of mind and being, Buffy just looks lost and empty standing with Dawn. The biggest question: why?

"Flooded"--Written By Douglas Petrie & Jane Espenson; Directed By Douglas Petrie

Buffy's in a dark, creepy space. She moves forward slowly. The sounds of dripping water and groans can be heard. Turns out, Buffy's in her basement and she's trying to fix a leaky pipe. Dawn tries to convince Buffy to call a plumber. Unfortunately, Willow and Tara spent all of the Summers money (infuriating...why haven't more fans written essays about this?). Buffy temporarily fixes the pipe then water bursts from every pipe.

This teaser essentially represents the entirety of the sixth season. Instead of approaching a demon in the sewers, it's just leaky pipes. To quote Forrest Gump, that's all I have to say about that. Also, it's the front-runner to advance into the final round.

"Life Serial"--Written By David Fury & Jane Espenson; Directed By Nick Marck

Buffy returns from her visit with Angel; however, she declines to comment on the time they spent together. She brought fried chicken but Willow, Tara, Giles and Dawn have eaten dinner already. Tara, naturally, asks for a piece because Buffy looks bummed. The conversation shifts to Buffy's plans. Specifically, her plans for the rest of her life. Buffy hadn't thought much about it. She agrees to attend classes with Tara and Willow. She'll audit the rest of the semester until registration. Buffy asks for Giles opinion on everything. Meanwhile, the Trio discuss how to make the slayer vulnerable since she always has a plan. The Trio, by the way, are three nerds who decided to take over Sunnydale on a whim. Warren designed a vehicle that will mess with Buffy from afar. They are testing her to see what they're up against.

The writers are consistently good with juxtaposition in their teasers. While the Trio thinks Buffy always has a plan, she's currently searching for one in her life. The discussion at the dinner table doesn't extend into the season. She does everything she talks about in "Life Serial" so the teaser's setting up the A story in the guise of a season-long Buffy arc (of course her arc is that she has no plans for her life). Also, the Trio's being played for laughs so far but Warren's evil undercurrents are on display as he explains the purpose of the truck and tech inside the truck. Jonathan and Andrew might not be problem but Warren will be.

"All The Way"--Written By Steven S. DeKnight; Directed By David Solomon

The Magic Box is full of trick-or-treaters and customers looking for a bargain. Xander fails to impress a child with his pirate impersonation. Willow fawns over a little girl in a witch costume. Dawn complains about Halloween and steals from the store. In the basement of The Magic Box, Buffy and Spike awkwardly converse with one another. Spike continues to lust after her while Buffy's strangely intrigued by him. They discuss patrolling. Upstairs, Buffy tells Giles that she'll patrol rather than bag but Giles explains that if anything supernatural happens on Halloween, it'll happen to the Scoobies. Crazy old men with knives is another matter though. The teaser cuts to one such old man who brandishes a knife while watching the various trick-or-treaters.

The damn Spuffy sexual tension isn't going away. This time, Buffy shows a strange curiosity during a charged moment in the basement. Their scene is set-up for the next episode. Dawn's scene in the teaser isn't much, considering this is her episode. Her brief scene shows her as a girl who is clearly not a child. The scene with the old man is pure misdirection for misdirection's sake. Not much happening in the "All The Way" teaser though.

"Once More, With Feeling"--Written & Directed By Joss Whedon

There is NO TEASER. Those are actually the first words in the shooting script because no teaser exists for the musical episode.

"Tabula Rasa"--Written By Rebecca Rand Kirschner; Directed By David Grossman

Buffy's patrolling. A shadowy figure follows her. The figure is Spike. The show briefly morphs into Dawson's Creek as Spike, in the Dawson role, whines about how he and Buffy need to talk about their kiss. Buffy wants to forget about the kiss. A loan shark (literally) shows up with two vamps. Spike owes him something--kittens, I believe. There's a brief fight. Spike disappears. Buffy thinks to herself, it'd be much simpler if she stopped saving his life all of the time.

This teaser focuses on the kiss that ended the musical episode. Buffy's not ready to deal with the fact she has some kind of feeling for Spike while he's all too eager to do more with her. The loan shark sets up the B story but this is nothing special. Moving on.

"Smashed"--Written By Drew Z. Greenberg; Directed By Turi Meyer

Buffy breaks up a mugging in the alley. She thought a middle-aged couple were about to be murdered by vampires. Spike arrives and bludgeons the muggers which sets off the chip in his head. The couple leaves. The muggers flee. Spike wants to kiss her. Buffy has no interest despite kissing him at the end of the past two episodes. Spike accuses her of being a tease. He tells her that he's all she has (and thus begins the weird sadomasochistic/verbally and emotionally abusive element of the relationship). Meanwhile, Willow's sad because Tara left the house. She decides to bring Amy back from being a rat so she isn't alone.

Overall, "Smashed" is one of the worst 43 minutes of this show. The teaser isn't terrible. I liked the mugging and Buffy's reaction but it goes downhill once Spike arrives and once Willow brings human Amy back. Story-wise, it doesn't pick up until the first act. The teaser doesn't give one hint about what the episode will be about. It's just more sexual tension between Buffy and Spike. There's always been something disturbing about Spike's interest in Buffy. His comment about her loneliness only adds to the disturbing nature. He's preying on her weakness.

"Wrecked"--Written By Marti Noxon; Directed By David Solomon

Dawn and Tara awake in an empty house. Both are concerned about Willow and Buffy. Meanwhile, Buffy awakes in the nude next to a naked Spike. She's horrified.

If "Smashed" was about the fun of dangerous activities then "Wrecked" is about consequences and regrets. Buffy's reaction upon waking up essentially conveys that sense of regret. The episode opens on the two most innocent characters, Tara and Dawn. They are also the two characters who will be most hurt by the actions of Willow and Buffy so it begins with an emotional hook.

"Gone"--Written & Directed By David Fury

Buffy and Dawn are clearing Willow's room of anything magic related. Willow hit rock-bottom with her addiction to magic in "Wrecked" and now she's coming clean. Buffy explains to Dawn that even their mother's fertility god statue must go because any temptation might cause her to give into the addiction. Meanwhile, the Trio experiment with an indivisible ray gun. It works. Warren thinks the gun makes the trio unstoppable.

Buffy's talking about herself as well as Willow when she explains temptation to Dawn. Buffy's not eager to repeat sex with Spike because she hates herself for doing it. Willow's beginning the path to recover though she has a long road to travel. The Trio scene sets up the A story. It features a top five worst scene in the show's history.

"Doublemeat Palace"--Written By Jane Espenson; Directed By Nick Marck

Xander, Anya and Willow engage in exposition about Warren and The Trio. Anya worries that Buffy will be late for her first day. The three transition their conversation into the work force. Anya calls the workers the tools that shape America. Enter Buffy, wearing her fast food uniform, feeling like a tool.

Boy this is a bad stretch of episodes. Real life re-enters the picture. Buffy becomes an employee of the Doublemeat Palace. Nothing else happens. Xander dismisses the trio as a threat. That's it.

Episodes 13-22 will post on Wednesday.

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