[/caption]Man vs. Wild returned last night. I wrote about the show two years ago for The Quad and it remains one of the most read articles I wrote. I think Bear Grylls is simply beloved by everyone. The show doesn't receive the same attention that it did two years. Man vs. Wild is as entertaining and enjoyable as ever. The formula hasn't changed but the survival scenarios are completely engaging. Whether he's trying to survive in the Arctic Circle or the Sahara, I will watch. Below are some highlights from Bear's latest adventure in Papua New Guinea. If you search for it on discovery, the episode is called "Western Pacific."
--The episode starts in usual great fashion as helicopter, carrying Bear, provides terrific shots of an awesome ocean. Bear is west of Australia's most northern part and above an ocean with deadly tiger sharks, hammer heads, stingrays and jellyfish to name a few. Bear tells us this as I begin thinking "oh Bear won't drop in the ocean this time; they will safely let him and his crew off on the island." Nope. Bear adds, "there is no landing spot for the copter on the island so we have to jump." I'll remind you that 15 second ago Bear told the viewer the ocean is a place where humans are very likely to be killed by sharks but he's Bear and he doesn't care. He's the guy who once stared down 200 elephants and managed to scare them all away. You think some tiger sharks and hammerheads will scare him? So he and the DP drop into the blue waters. As he swims, Bear talks about the coral reef and states he could be harmed badly by it. Let me also paint you the picture of an absolutely vicious tide. I'm amazed that Bear nor the DP, Simon, injured themselves. Once Bear safely pasts the reef, Bear talks about the sharks' love for shallow waters because it's an easy feeding ground. He lands on the sand safely. Of course, once he does, we see a shark swimming near where he just was. A totally awesome opening.
--Bear likes to orient himself with the environment so he decides to climb to the island's highest point. It's a difficult climb. I couldn't do it. He masters the climb though but isn't satisfied with the height. He wants higher ground. Bear notes the terrain is difficult to navigate. As he navigates, he ends up jumping from rock to rock and the jump couldn't be done by the average joe. The landing is small and dangerous. Plus, if he messes up, the drop looks about 100 feet. Of course Bear nails the jump and the landing. Once he reaches the height he wants, he realizes he swam to the wrong island. The other island has the resources he wants. The only thing separating the two islands is the shark-infested water. This. Will. Be. Awesome.
--Bear grabs a huge stick as a means of defense from any shark as well as the unpredictable currents. He navigates slowly, cautiously and carefully. At one moment, it seems like a shark bumped against him and Bear freaks out but regains his calm quickly. Meanwhile, the number of sharks in the distance grows and Bear knows the longer he's in the water is worse for him. Before he reaches the shore, a shark races towards him before veering off. On land, Bear laughs about the adrenaline rush he feels. An absolutely riveting sequence of events.
--On the other island, Bears performs the usual tasks: finding water, shelter, food. He realizes there is a third island he wants to be on because of rescue chances. Bear decides he needs good energy so he needs a good meal. This is by far my favorite part of the episode:
BEAR TRIES TO CAPTURE A SHARK!
He's smart about it though. He ends up with a lobster. Bear enjoyed the lobster more than anything I've seen him eat in the shows history. He also enjoy the coconuts he had earlier. Anywho, with that meal in his system, he builds an entire raft out of bamboo.
--The sea travel on his man-made bamboo raft doesn't unfold smoothly. He has the unfortunate luck of sailing when a storm approaches so the sea is choppy and rough. He loses his sail and manages to survive the brutal tide and the reef and finds rescue in a small plane about to take off thus ending the adventure in Papua New Guinea.
An A+ episode. I enjoyed the episode so much. I think it's one of the top ten episodes in the show's history. He went into shark-infested waters over and over again. How badass is that?
FRENCH LIGUE 1
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[/caption]Boy oh boy this is a twenty team league and the league is pretty unfamiliar to me. I've seen the occassional Bordeux, Lyon, Marseille, Paris Saint-Germain and St. Etienne game as I'm sure anyone reading this blog has. Here's a breakdown of the importance of standings:
1st and 2nd place teams are in the Champions league. The 3rd place team earns a spot in Champions League qualifying. 4th place plays in the Europa League and the last place teams (18-20) are relegated.
1. Lyon
Reason: I recall the team advancing deep in Champions League so that means the team is very good and quite capable of winning the Ligue. The full name for the squad is Olympique Lyonnais. Also, in order to keep readers from veering away from this I will search for the team that French beauty Marion Cotillard (from Inception) supports. Eh? EH? She is great. Lyon are rivals with pretty much every team in the ligue according to wikipedia but the most prominent rivalry is with St. Etienne because of class distinctions. I wonder if V has been translated into French. Also, a prize for anyone who guesses what V is. No, not the alien drama on ABC. And goal.com compared the team to Oasis.
2. AS Monaco
Reason: Don't know. Also, anyone expecting Marion Cotillard's favorite French team will not receive any answer. They've lost much of their mid-field flair according to goal.com. Wonderful. They also have a recent history of failing in big moments.
3. Marseille
Reason: I won't earn much respect from French Ligue supports should they read this but let me remind you that I am simply trying to learn a lot about every important league in the world. Marseille finished first last year. Experts say Marseille are old but great. I don't know if that is an endorsement for the team or not. What I do know is that they have three popular fan groups and that they'll be playing in the Champions league. Yes.
4. Bordeux
Reason: They finished sixth last season so they've gotta restore their dignity by finishing 4th and playing in UEFA Europa. I watched the team last year and, often, would never take them in Streak for the Cash. The fans demand greatness from their team and they have a new coach. I dare say Bordeux nation are hopeful. Goal.com compared them to Lady Gaga. I don't understand.
5. Stades Rennes
Reason: Love the name. Ghana's own Asamoah Gyan, who will forever be remembered for not converting a free kick after the Suarez handball plays for this team. If it wasn't for Gyan, Ghana wouldn't have been in that game at all. Gyan is awesome.
6. Lens
Reason: Every team in the ligue has much longer name than given on espn.com. The full name is Racing Club de Lens. I respect that. My sources tell me they don't have tons of cash and an unreliable offense but can produce unspectacular victories. They sound like Paraguay.
7. Montepellier
Reason: The French faithful think their late season surge was a flash in the pan and will not be repeated. In other words, they are the Nashville Predators. Of course, by comparing them to the Predators, I am predicting the team will surprise year after year. Barry Trotz is underrated.
8. Lille
Reason: They are an exciting team to watch my sources tell me. Actually, they are hailed as the most exciting team in France. Good for them. My pick, seemingly, does not justify the greatness I read about. Oh, well. I literally just learned about this team as I wrote what you read right now.
9. Paris St-Germain
Reason: I watched a game of theirs on Saturday. There were patches of empty seats. Look at this: the team has trouble selling tickets! I am both observant and capable of research. The team never lives up to expectations. Not sure if they have a goat curse but the expectations part reminds me of the Cubs. Now, they won the game on Saturday 2-1 and currently sit atop the ligue but the season barely began.
10. Lorient
Reason: According to goal.com, the team is like the Florida Marlins because their coach can take so-so players and transform the team into a dangerous opponent. I have nothing else to add.
11. Valenciennes
Reason: They're good enough to be a top 10 team apparently. Nothing else stands out about this team.
12. Nice
Reason: Oh, Nice. Their expectation is simply to avoid relegation.
13. Sochaux
Reason: Anyone reading should know that the difference between finishing in the top ten and finishing in the bottom ten is very important. This is a team expected in the top ten but they get compared to the band Hanson. That doesn't instill confidence.
14. Arles
Reason: I'm beginning to think I shouldn't use this section as a reason for placing a team where I do. Maybe replace the word with thoughts. They were promoted upon finishg 3rd in the Ligue 2 so this is generous but I don't know what the hell I'm talking about after all. This is a team of go-getters though for they've been promoted four times in the last five years. ARLES! ARLES! ARLES!
15. Caen
Reason: Ignoring the spelling, the name reminds me of WWE wrestler known as The Big Red Machine. Expectations for the team: survival. The team plays in Normandy and they won the Ligue 2 last year. I think their full name is Stade Malherbe Caen Calvados Basse-Normandie. Could you imagine Steven A. Smith saying this authortatively while making a point on ESPN?
16. Toulouse
Reason: The team appears to have no scoring options besides Andre-Pierre Gignac which, of course, reminds me of the 2009-2010 Heat. Who in the world was the Heat's no. 2 scorer? The city has Europe's largest romanesque church. The church, Saint-Sernin Basilica has the world's most beautiful pipe organ.
17. AS Nancy Lorraine
Reason: I just forgot about this team and had to put them somewhere.
18. St. Etienne
Reason: Carlos Bocanegra, the US National Team's captain, plays for the team. Goal.com expects a decent finish for the club. I certainly hope Bocanegra's club isn't relegated. Etienne's nation seems glad that Bocanegra is on the team. Moving on.
19. Brest
Reason: Their full name is Stade Brestois and survival is their chief motivator. Among the things they need to improve is mental resolve. Sounds like a team that is going back to the French Ligue 2.
20. AJ Auxerre a.ka. AJA
Reason: Yes, fans call the team AJA so, naturally, I think of the director Alexandre Aja and the opportunity to put a team called AJA here was a great one. No, I cannot find which team in France Aja supports though. I only hope he has enough of an ego to root for a team known as AJA. I can only imagine their season will fall apart in the last act of the season reducing the brilliant first two acts of the season meaningless.
The English Premier League Predictions. TOMORROW.
THE YOUTUBE CLIP OF THE WEEK
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