Pittsburgh over Tennessee
-Pittsburgh wasn't great in beating the Eagles. Fortunately for them, they're playing the Titans. The ongoing Chris Johnson saga continues. Despite rushing for 24 yards, I got 0 points from the man. In fact, my running backs combined for 4 or 5 points. I wanted to set the lowest combined points for a position in fantasy LAST WEEK. I think I set the record in week five. My opinion about Hasselbeck blew up in my face. The Titans are just bad, and Pittsburgh will record their second win in four days.
Atlanta over Oakland
-Matt Ryan led three scoring drives in the fourth quarter against the Redskins. What's going to happen when the Falcons lose? Football writers slobber over the eventual loss of an undefeated team. Roddy White told reporters the team stunk for most of the game. Atlanta's been consistent in their wins, despite the hiccup against Washington. Are Atlanta-based writers, or National guys like Peter King and Mike Silver waiting to point out what's wrong with the team once they lose? If Oakland beats them, Atlanta's going to be questioned and you might hear about what the team hid in their wins. Or it might be chalked up to one game.
Cincinnati over Cleveland
-TV writer Shawn Ryan despaired over the hot start of the Browns because of the Giants were his pick in a survival pool. Ryan should not have despaired for they are the Browns. The Browns are a terrible team because they're young. They'll be a good team in 2 or 3 years. Cleveland over Cincy seems like an enticing pick. Week after week Cincy's called The Good Bad Team. Foolish individuals think of the Browns, some of their close losses, and believe they'll make out by picking the Browns. Hey, they're winless, and Trent Richardson's shown he deserved to be picked number three in the draft. The Browns are due, right? I don't think so. Thinking the Browns are due for a win is like thinking a pattern exists for Scantron tests. If you color in five Cs in a row, it doesn't mean a D or an A or a B is next in line. That's what those bastard test-makers want the test-taker to think. Anyway, AJ Green makes incredible catches each week. Cleveland might be ahead by 6 with 3 seconds left. Dalton will loft it to Green, who'll stumble but still make the catch with his legs, and Spero Dedes will pass out from making the call.
St. Louis over Miami
-Miami's Hard Knocks season inspired chatter about the detriment of the show to the team involved. Now that Miami's an average-to-decent team, will Hard Knocks be embraced again? Tannehill's gotta be a week or two away from being interviewed for a national magazine or newspaper cover story. He's not Andrew Luck or RG3, but he was the QB folk thought would be really effective (except for Mike Mayock). People doubted him during training camp because he played horribly. Someone wants to write the Tannehill redemption piece.
Indianapolis over New York Jets
-The Tebow vs. Sanchez nonsense continues. Michael Silver of Yahoo! listed Sanchez's average stats for the season. The numbers involve the number 6, as in Satan's number. Tebow's 316 yard performance in the playoffs hasn't been forgotten. Can't religion and Tebow be separated? Well, I guess not since Tebow likes to bring up his Christianity, like before the 666th game of Monday Night Football. Tebow's a bad quarterback. Sanchez is a bad quarterback. Sanchez actually has more success as a starter. He QBed the Jets to back-to-back AFC title games. Tebow won a wild card game and got his ass handed to him in New England the following week. It's a lose-lose situation in New York.
Indy's 30-27 win was the best game I watched this season. Reggie Wayne had a legendary day--over 200 yards and a TD. New York's a mess right now, and Indy's the team to root for after Pagano's diagnosis and the emotional scene after their victory.
Philadelphia over Detroit
-Domo wrote a great piece for The Daily News why the offense is struggling. I wanted to write about the offense's struggle, but Domo stole my thunder. Domo's piece touches on the poor special teams and the lack of big plays. The Big Play Andy loves has disappeared. Vick overthrows his receivers a lot or DeSean or Maclin are double-teamed (sometimes tripled). Andy and Marty loved to open the season with a trick play. This season, though, the offense opened the 2012 campaign with a run. Detroit's secondary is miserable. The offense needs to open up the playbook and if they fail there's a permanent problem with the offense.
Tampa Bay over Kansas City
-I watched #603 of Boy Meets World the other morning. Cory Matthews experiences his first day in college, a mere five years after being a sixth grader. Confident-as-all-hell because of the mere five years bit, he enrolls in difficult classes. TV College doesn't bother with pre-requisites. My favorite class of Cory's is Theoretical Calculus. How can that be a class? I also love the class he enrolls for which combines quantum physics and existential philosophy. Cory flees to Jackson Hole, Wyoming to chill with Fenney. The rest of the episode is nonsense. I don't have an opinion on TB v. KC.
Baltimore over Dallas
-It just takes a 3 point win over the Kansas City Chiefs for football folk to make the comically nervous face usually reserved for comic strips and cartoons. Baltimore scored their 9 points via field goal. Dallas didn't play last week, which means Romo's five interceptions is a distant memory. Bill Simmons thinks Dallas is set up well to defeat Baltimore. I don't think so. The 24/7 sports news cycle takes every game so seriously. Every baseball city has a pre-and-post-game show for every game. Every baseball game isn't worth the coverage. Teams will have a bad game because there's so many of them and it's human nature that one's not their best every day of the year. Football's sixteen game schedule makes every game incredibly important, but teams will have a bad game here and there and barely scrape by a terrible team like Kansas City. Baltimore's better than Dallas; they will win.
Arizona over Buffalo
-Everyone was right to dismiss Buffalo after Week 1 after all. CJ Spiller and Fred Jackson are terrific individually. As a unit, though, they cancel one another out. Stevie Johnson is their lone consistent offensive threat. Steve Chandler's a known tight end because the other Bills receivers are anonymous. Arizona's front-seven is going to terrorize poor Harvard Fitzpatrick. I'd love to think Chan Gailey will go at Arizona with their run game, because I'm a selfish fantasy owner of Spiller and Jackson. I have no confidence the coaches know how to use them right. Harvard's going to get sacked ten times. Kevin Kolb will watch with a small smirk on his face, though I expect the telecast to do this: on Harvard's ninth sack, the broadcast team will reminisce about Kolb getting sacked eight times in St. Louis over a montage scored by "I Only Have Eyes For You."
New England over Seattle
-I missed the entirety of the New England/Denver game and never caught the highlights. Similarly, I missed Seattle's game and never caught the highlights. Wes Welker's post-game joke dominated the Monday football conversations on the interweb. I learned nothing about the Patriots performance, just that Welker made a crack about the inane narrative concocted by Boston's most irritating sports writers. All the suitors, meanwhile, want to take Seattle's defense to the Big Dance. Seattle could put pressure on Brady, take away the receivers, and win. I don't see that happening.
San Francisco over New York Giants
-The Buffalo pick against San Francisco went as planned. Buffalo trailed by 7 for a bit before the 49ers decided to destroy them. New York lucked out against the Browns. They started slow, made mistakes and were able to win because the Browns are young and terrible. Dan Dierdorf would describe San Fran as a 'Big Boy' team. Big Boy teams won't let New York back in if Big Boy team goes up by 17 early. San Fran's impossible to ignore now; they responded to a loss by destroying other teams. New York is a tempting pick, though. I live on the East Coast and am surrounded by its bias. The Giants are good; but, you know, San Fran's a Big Boy team.
Minnesota over Washington
-Kirk Cousins had a terrific debut. It reminded me of the minor league call-up who's first at-bat is a home run, like Chase Utley's. For all I know, RG3 will start Sunday. Cousins wouldn't win the game anyway The NFL's very public about concussion safety. Players undergo concussion tests on the sidelines if a concussion's suspected. The bounty scandal punishments were about the NFL showing they care about player safety in the face of a mounting lawsuit. The NFL concussion safety awareness is a load of shit. Any week a good-to-great player is mildly concussed, coaches confidently express their belief in that player starting. Mild concussions in the NFL world are contusions or a broken hand. Offensive linemen wrap their broken hand so that not even a brick dropped from 200 feet could harm it. I don't get how mildly concussed players are cleared so fast. Part of the reason concussions are still treated like they were ten years ago is the delayed awareness of brain injuries. The concussion picture's far from complete. The day the picture is complete will be sobering. RG3 might play because he'll be "cleared." He'll be cleared because the games matter too much and too much money's involved in RG3 playing the game.
Houston over Green Bay
-Could Green Bay be America's Real Madrid? No, not really. Real Madrid's one of the most expensive teams in the world. They're bench and reserves could finish in the top ten of La Liga. Green Bay doesn't have the level of talent in every phase of their game the way Madrid does. Madrid doesn't have a weak spot. It's a testament to the team's talent that they've played well in the CL. The team is fractured. Players go to Facebook to affirm their devotion to the sport and team. The team discord has affected their regular season games, as they've dropped points; however, the talent of the team is going to carry them, whether or not Ozil or Ramos are pissing Mourinho off. Green Bay's been off in a way that reminds me of Real Madrid, but they're not as talented. If GB sulks through a half, chances are they'll lose. I don't know what the issue is. Houston, meanwhile, is becoming the new America's team. If any columnist writes that the Texans are America's team, Jerry Jones will react like a poorly written villain in a Steven Segal action movie.
San Diego over Denver
-Denver wins and they tie for first place. San Diego wins and they gain a 2 game lead. The AFC West's still as uninteresting as an episode of According to Jim.
Last Week: 7-7
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