Life After Jacob's Foot: Suicide Beard Edition

Well, I'm back. And this is how I look:



It's been just over one week but I can't stay away from this damn site even if it still doesn't tell me nor any other writer how many page views a single post has gotten. It's even more baffling that I'm back because I havent' been a student at this school for six months. It's MOST baffling because LOST is no more and I haven't written about ANYTHING else in this place for over a year. As far as you know, I have no other interests BESIDES LOST. Perhaps that is true.

But there was a time when I wrote and was overlord of the entertaiment section. I wrote about television, movies and music. Maybe I return to my roots and, by roots, I mean blowharding about television. While I can't guarantee that I'll write nearly 4,000 words on the latest episode of The Real World/Roal Rules challenge, I can guarantee that I'll try my best to write 4,000 words about the latest episode of said challenge.

How do I begin navigating this post-LOST/post-Jacob's Foot world I now find myself in? I do watch other shows besides LOST. Perhaps I'll start there. Yes! Perhaps I begin by giving a brief rundown of other shows I could potentially write about in exhaustive and (for the reader) infuriating and unnecessary detail. Eh why not?

TREME: This has been my first true experience of a David Simon show. Fans of The Wire proclaim that series to be the greatest drama they've ever watched and critics have declared that The Wire is the greatest television series EVER. I've seen bits and pieces of The Wire, and by bits and pieces I mean the first half of season six, key scenes on YouTube as well as the series finale. But I'm in position to comment on The Wire. I figured I'd give Simon's newest show a chance. He created it with Eric Overmyer. Treme tells the story of post-Katrina New Orleans. There's a whole bunch of characters and they are united in their post-Katrina struggles. The show has delved into the buercratic nightmares the city found itself in and especially its residents following the floods which has, for me, been the most interesting part of the show. There's a ton of great music in each episode and a couple of engaging characters like Antoine Batiste, Davis, Chief Lambrioux and John Goodman's Creighton; however, the show hasn't won me over and I have no real desire to write about it.

FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS: I've watched the show since the beginning. I love the first season. I hate the second season. I enjoyed the third season and I'm intrigued by the fourth season. I do not have DirecTV so I've been watching the episodes as NBC aired them. I would probably enjoy writing about each episode even though I'll barely get to make Saracen/Coach's daughter jokes. Don't be surprised if there's something up about episode five. Also, don't be surprised if I don't remember stuff about past episodes. My photographic memory of television only includes LOST, Buffy and ANGEL. Plus, FNL can be inconsistent with their own story.

TRUE BLOOD: I wrote about a few episodes last year in this very blog before I decided devote all the content to LOST. Plus, Maryann destroyed any enjoyment I had in watching the show. I'll see how the first episode goes on June 13. But probably not.

ENTOURAGE: Jacob's Foot made it seem like I'm not capable of criticizing anything. Not true. Should I write about Entourage, a show that's gotten worse as the years go by, there could be a ton of criticism. Consider last season when nothing happened at all. I'd use it in my "Why I Should Be a Television Writer" argument because, literally, Doug Elin and his band of writers got away with absolutely nothing happening for an entire season. The only show to come close to this feat has been the fifth season of How I Met Your Mother. That felt like Jack's Tattoo episode dragged out throughout 24 episodes.

HEROES: Oh wait, this show got canceled! BAM!

MAD MEN: It's rather daring for me to even put this here considering the fourth season begins in July and I've only seen the first three episodes of the series but I'm anticipating AMC OnDemand allowing people like me to catch up slowly but surely. I'm enjoying the show so far. Two Whedon alums in the cast: Vincent Kartheiser (the best actor ANGEL had...no offense to Alexis Denisof) and the lovely Christina Hendricks (who portrayed Saffron on Firefly for two episodes). The writing's terrific and the direction of the show is pretty great. I'd like to but I'm in a race against the clock.

DEXTER: It's even more daring for me to include this considering I've seen just one episode of the series and the fact that Showtime OnDemand only has the fourth season available to watch. Plus, it's four seasons and lengthy in time. Could I do it? I've got to take in account all of the LOST I'll be re-watching again when the DVD hits in August. FOUR COMMENTARY TRACKS. While I'm here, here is who I'm hoping to hear from in the LOST season six audio commentary tracks.

1.) LA X--the premiere episode of season six. I expect Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse to break their 'no more 88 minute commentary' rules for this one. I also expect it to be quite like the season five commentary for "Because You Left." I expect a lot of tidbits and inside stuff they couldn't reveal during the season about the entirety of season six and much information about the process of developing and executing the sideways.

2. Dr. Linus--I expect to hear Eddie Kitsis, Adam Horowitz and Michael Emerson on this commentary. Emerson usually terrific to listen to when he's talking about LOST. I hope Emerson breathes some life into Kitsis and Horowitz because those two are pretty brutal to listen to. One would think after working on the show for as long as they did that they'd have interesting things to say but nope. Emerson will be the MVP of this one. Plus, Dr. Linus is probably the best episode of season six.

3. Ab Aeterno--the epic, epic Richard backstory. Who do I expect to hear? Nestor Carbonell of course, Gregg Nations and Melinda Hsu-Taylor and (hopefully) director Tucker Gates. But the only directors we've heard from in past commentaries have been Jack Bender, Paul Edwards and Steve Semel. I'd love to hear from Jack Bender on "LA X" but I don't think that's happening. I'm not really sure what I expect to hear on this commentary. Nestor usually has a lot of good thoughts about the show. Gregg Nations was in charge of the LOST bible during the show so he should have much to offer. I'd love to hear how Tucker Gates prepped this epic episode in just eight days and shot it all in just ten. It's amazing.

4. Across The Sea--Damon and Carlton said on the final LOST podcast that they recorded a commentary for this episode so I imagine it'll just be them. If you listened to that podcast or read any post-Across The Sea interviews with them or tweets, you know what to expect. For the record, I LIKED "Across the Sea."

Anywho, returning to Dexter now: I probably won't write about the show.

THE VAMPIRE DIARIES: I'm a big Kevin Williamson fan because of SCREAM. I've only seen one episode and don't really care to catch up. If I'm home and there's no sports on, I'll watch a re-run. But this might be fun to write because of how much information and story I won't know. I think the lead actress of the series is gorgeous.

THE REAL WORLD/ROAD RULES CHALLENGE: There is only two episodes left of Fresh Meat II but who says I can't start late?

Also, I'm bringing back THE EPISODE OF THE DAY feature. This time it won't be solely for LOST episodes (though LOST will appear because I'll never really stop writing about the show totally). This entry's already long enough so I'll save the return of the EPISODE OF THE DAY for another day.

Oh yeah, listen to my online radio show/podcast here: http://blogtalkradio.com/fiveminutesoffame