Two new shows from last season return for a second season. The rest is the old guard. Procedurals, procedurals, and more procedurals, with two sitcoms to off-set the amount of procedurals. I’m stunned CBS actually cancelled Crime Scene Investigation. CBS procedurals cluster and blur. One is indistinguishable from the other after one moves past the title and the cast. The brand of CBS doesn’t allow for any separation. I’ve written six of these CBS returning shows previews. Little changed by year. The show runners of each show hit the same beats dressed differently every year. CBS’ fall lineup bums me out.
THE BIG BANG THEORY returns Monday, September 21 at 8PM
Eight seasons ago, Leonard and friends couldn’t get dates. The ninth season premiere may marry off Leonard to Penny. Season eight concluded with the “Will they marry?” cliffhanger. The major news out of The Big Bang Theory publicity department is a crossover episode with Star Wars: The Force Awakens. Crossover may not mean direct crossover. One of the executive producers knows only that they’ll work in the movie.
SCORPION returns Monday, September 21 at 9PM
Things looked bad for the Scorpion crew in the finale, but things got better. Now, Katharine McPhee might sing in season two. The season premiere brings a catastrophic event to the team which they must stop. Equally catastrophic appears to be Paige and Walter talking about those damn feelings of theirs for each other.
NCIS: LOS ANGELES returns Monday, September 21 at 10PM
The CBS sneak peek shows the team trying to stop Callen from going rogue. Callen’s dead father isn’t dead, but is dead, but isn’t dead, and Callen wants to get to the bottom of it. Chris O’Donnell grew a rogue rebel beard for Callen’s turn as rebellious NCIS agent. Callen points a gun at LL Cool J, for goodness sake.
NCIS returns Tuesday, September 22 at 8PM
A child shot Marc Harmon’s Gibbs last season. Somewhere, my friend, Bryan Jawn, continually weeps about the fate of Gibbs. CBS released a sneak peek. Gibbs walks into a white light with a little girl (presumably, his daughter) as new cast member Jon Cryer tries to save the man’s life. Will Gibbs die? Absolutely not, but CBS would like viewers to think so and tune in to see if his character dies.
NCIS: NEW ORLEANS returns Tuesday, September 22 at 9PM
James Whitmore Jr. directed the season premiere, titled “Sic Semper Tyranis.” He directed part of the Dawson’s Creek season finale (and others from the series). He directs CBS shows now, but he had his hand in a number of classic WB shows. Whitmore Jr. directed two of my favorite Buffy season three episodes: “The Zeppo” and “Dead Man’s Party.”
HAWAII FIVE-0 returns Friday, September 25 at 9PM
Michelle returned in the finale. The question of whether or not she’ll stay in Hawaii with Steve will find resolution after a multi-episode arc. I’ll guess she doesn’t stay around. McGarrett’s one true love is Danny. Julie Benz joined the cast for three episodes, but Lenkov and company will likely extend her contract. Her character will fall for Chin Ho.
BLUE BLOODS returns Friday, September 25 at 10PM
Season six could be the last. CBS renewed the series after the season ended. The publicity for season six is almost non-existent. Will Tom Selleck save the moustache or not?!? A mayoral candidate will accuse Frank of corruption this season, and Danny and Baez will investigate a possible serial killer.
CSI: CRIME SCENE INVESTIGATION returns Sunday, September 27 at 9PM
Ted Danson grew a majestic beard. This is the end of CSI. So many networks promised a feature length film for fans, but CBS delivered it. CSI fans probably look forward to it, so I won’t bother highlighting what fans could see in the finale or what they will see. Farewell, CSI.
CRIMINAL MINDS returns Wednesday, September 30 at 9PM
Believe it or not, friends and well-wishers, the first episode involves a hunt for a serial killer, a serial killer that leaves a trail of distinctive clues behind suggesting the killer seeks revenge. Aisha Tyler joins the cast as a forensic psychologist. The team will interview candidates to replace Kate.
MADAM SECRETARY returns Sunday, October 4 at 8PM
Madam Secretary becomes temporary president after the president’s plane goes missing. So, that happened faster than I thought. I predicted she would win the presidential election during my preview of the show last year. Anyway, she’ll learn the difficulties of the position. Morgan Freeman directed the season two premiere and guest stars.
THE GOOD WIFE returns Sunday, October 4 at 9PM
Alicia will start a new law firm with a new character, described by CBS’ website as a “calm, experienced investigator.” Margo Martindale joins the show in a recurring role in which she plays more villainous than she did on the failed sitcom she worked on with Will Arnett.
CSI: CYBER returns Sunday, October 4 at 10PM
Ted Danson joined the cast after CBS cancelled CSI. He’ll run the newly created Next Generation Cyber Forensics division. #201 involves a homicide that stemmed from a simple hacking into a home’s security system.
MOM returns Thursday, November 5 at 9PM
From the CBS preview page: “In Season Three, Christy and Bonnie find themselves in unfamiliar territory: they're getting along! They will continue to rely on their sober friends, Marjorie, Jill and Wendy, for support and together, they'll offer encouragement to newcomers to their group, including Jodi (guest star Emily Osment). Also, Regina will make a life-altering decision that affects everyone, and Christy will continue to be challenged by the facts that Violet is engaged to a man 22 years her senior and Roscoe is spending more and more time with his father and his girlfriend.”
ELEMENTARY returns Thursday, November 5 at 10PM
Sherlock may lose his job and his partner after a relapse and an attack on Oscar. While that plays out off-screen, Sherlock investigates another crime in the premiere. More importantly, Morland Holmes arrives.